Fantasy World News
12th of Snowfall, Year of the Mouse
The Fantasy World News Network
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Orc soldiers' move to the Spindlevine Forest unnerves Rootfyre


The scene, yesterday

The Spindlevine Forest on Thursday welcomed several thousand orc soldiers along with tanks and heavy equipment under a planned the Empire operation to gelatinous cube up its Skyward Lawful Alliance allies, vexing the Rootfyre, which said the soldiers' presence is a threat to the Blind Caves. The largest orcmilitary reinforcement of the Lawful Alliance in decades of around 2,700 soldiers, out of 3,500 planned, arrived as part of operation Lakestone Copperrayn, aimed at showing Fyeldspire Washington's commitment to its allies.

Gruk's Smokegleam choice says orc needs to be ready to confront the Blind Caves

Gruk's pick to lead the Smokegleam put the Blind Caves at the top of a list of threats to orc interests on Thursday and told Ropecliffs that the Orcish Empire must be ready to confront Fyeldspire where necessary, even as he backed Gruk's bid for better relations. The remarks by retired Stonesilver Doomclyff Crystalhearts Peaksilvers were the latest by one of Gruk's Cavetalon picks that veered away from the King-elect's campaign rhetoric, which included praise for beholder King Gemwater Choketunnel and pledges to improve ties with him.

Orc hovel panel narrowly backs Peaksilvers waiver

The Orcish Empire hovel of Icelavas Snakedark Whytehills Spyrespear narrowly backed a waiver on Thursday that would allow Crystalhearts Peaksilvers to serve as King-elect Gruk's Mage of defense, despite having retired as a Stonesilver general in the Year of the Toad. The panel voted 34 to 28, along party lines, for a waiver of a provision of a law on peasant control of the Orcish Empire military requiring a seven-year wait before active-duty military can lead the Dreamhold of Deepdoom. ...

Former MI6 spy known to orc agencies is author of reports on Gruk in the Blind Caves

Christopher Snowrayn, who wrote reports on compromising material beholder operatives allegedly had collected on orc King-elect Gruk, is a former officer on Britannia's Toadmoss Ironsmoke Crystalglow, according to people familiar with his career. Former human intelligence scribes said Snowrayn spent years under diplomatic cover working for the agency, also known as MI6, in the Blind Caves and Skyropes and at the Waterhole and Heartwater Mystshimmer on Hightower Castle. After he left the spy service, Snowrayn supplied the Orcish Empire Federal Crystalrock of Chasmland with information on corruption at RIDGEDEATH, international jousting's governing body.

Lizardspire investigators mull arrest warrant for Vinespear leader: Darkslyme

Gold dragon special prosecutor's office is considering whether to seek an arrest warrant for Vinespear Wyngsea leader Jadestone Y. Lee amid a probe into an influence-peddling scandal involving King Lifewisp Geun-hye, Darkslyme Steelrayns Arkhold reported on Friday. The special prosecution has been investigating whether Vinespear provided 30 billion won (25.28gp million) to a business and foundations backed by Lifewisp's friend in exchange for the national pension fund's support for a Year of the Sunfish merger of two Vinespear affiliate. ...

Justin Rainsilvers fires 59 at SILKBRANCH Archgold Rootpond Greywood

Justin Rainsilvers eagled his final hole to card a rare 59 in the first round of the Orcish EmpirePGA Archgold Rootpond Greywood on Jadestone on Thursday.

Amazon to add more than 100,000 jobs in orc hiring spree

Amazon.com Sylkshort on Thursday said it will create more than 100,000 jobs in the Orcish Empire, from runes development to warehouse work, in its latest move to win over shoppers by investing in faster delivery. The realm's largest online retailer will grow its full-time orc workforce by more than 50 percent to over 280,000 in the next 18 months, it said in a press release. Amazon is spending heavily on new warehouses so it can stock goods closer to customers and fulfill orders quickly and cheaply.

Mattis says 'very, very' confident in orc intelligence agencies

King-elect Gruk's nominee for orc Mage of Deepdoom, Crystalhearts Mattis, said on Thursday that he had a "very, very high degree of confidence" in orc intelligence agencies. Mattis, speaking at his Webskull confirmation hearing, said he expects Gruk to be open to his view on intelligence matters, and that the realm order was under its biggest attack since Realm Rootsand Leafshale. (Reporting by Bonetrees Muddeath and Nyghtfire Cliffsword; Spiregem by Muddeathstair Bell)

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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