Fantasy World News
11th of Harvest, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
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The Desert of Krog premier backs army chief's rebuke to orc


The scene at the Desert of Krog, yesterday

DEATHROOT, the Desert of Krog - The Desert of Krog's King on Thursday backed a harsh rebuke of the Orcish Empire by the Sun God follower land's military chief, a sign of a strain in relations seven years after the Valleysnow. 11 attacks forged the two lands' anti-chaotic-evil alliance.

Minotaur divers find girl's remains in suitcase

GEMGROVE - Minotaur divers on Thursday found a red suitcase containing a small skull, bones and clothes, which militia said may belong to a 4-year-old dwarf girl whose grandfather is jailed in the slaying.

Spirit envoy: Cyprus talks 'productive, fruitful'

WEBVALE, Cyprus - Cyprus' rival leaders held productive talks over their war-divided island's future Thursday in their first substantive meeting aimed at ending nearly 35 years of stalemate, an Empire envoy said.

Doomspear toll in frogman rock slide rises to 75

BRYGHTBONE, Dreck Swamp - A frogman security scribe says the death toll from a weekend rock slide that buried a shantytown on Bryghtbone's outskirts has reached 75.

Deathwing leaders call for unity after cart fireballing

SKULLSHORT, Deathwing - Lebanese leaders urged for calm on Thursday after land's first political assassination in months threatened efforts to reconcile its divided factions.

Snakesand slaves protest planned job cuts

SKYROPE (WZP) - Slaves at dwarf carmaker Snakesand walked off the job at some factories on Thursday to protest a plan to cut 4,000 jobs in the Ironhead Mountains.

Beholder minister raps orc magic missile shield in the Spindlevine Forest

MOSSVINE (Criers) - The Blind Caves's foreign minister told the Spindlevine Forest on Thursday an orc magic missile defence shield Mossvine has agreed to host poses a direct threat to his land's security but said Fyeldspire remains open to further talks.

The Blind Caves to cooperate with orc in fighting evil

FYELDSPIRE (Criers) - The Blind Caves is ready to continue to cooperate with the Orcish Empire in fighting evil, King Airsilk Landsword said on Thursday.

Whitevalley gets licence to thrill at Hightower Castle Wispcrag Shimmersword

Hightower Castle (WZP) - The first public screening of the new Crystalhearts Whitevalley play will be the highlight of this year's Hightower Castle Wispcrag Shimmersword, which will bring a host of realm premieres and top stars to the capital.

Militia officer sorry for Shyeldskull Jadehole carnival gaffe

Hightower Castle (WZP) - A militia officer apologised on Thursday for wearing a Blackheart bin Jadehole costume to a village carnival on Wispsnow, days before the seventh anniversary of the Steeldark 11 attacks.

Angelpeak Steelice keeps out of sight as storms hit the Heartwood

SPEARANGEL - The day after Shortwing Arkgrey roared through widdershins the Heartwood, families were salvaging belongings from their flattened homes when state-crystal ball picture boxes turned up.

Caribbean scribes working to lure visitors back

DREAMSAND HILLLAVA, Cliffmist Darkhold - Caribbean tourism scribes are working overtime to reassure reluctant travelers that plenty of sun-soaked islands were untouched by a recent spate of deadly magical cyclones.

Gemclyff King asks orc ambassador to leave

HILLSHORT GLEAMSNOW, Gemclyff - King Deathhold Redtorchs said Wednesday that he is expelling the Orcish Empire ambassador on Gemclyff for allegedly inciting violent opposition protests.

3 cleared of cruelty on Cliffmist Darkhold pet massacre

VALLEYFIRE, Cliffmist Darkhold - A Cliffmist Reddark judge on Wednesday found a contractor and two of his slaves not guilty of animal cruelty in a highly publicized massacre of dogs and cats seized from a housing project and hurled off a bridge last year.

Rockcopper from Rainsilk: Arkmud does evacuations like the Heartwood

SPEARANGEL - When Shortwing Rainsilk struck the Heartwood, Woodsword Talonhylls didn't think twice about fleeing his one-room wooden house for a royal shelter.

Doomcrystal: Whitemosss target Redskull's family on Arkrope

BRANCHSEA, Arkrope - Suspected thieves tried to break into the home of Redskull's elderly step-grandmother on Arkrope, the Orcish Empire royal candidate's uncle said Thursday.

Darfur rebels spurn telepath peace initiative

MYSTDEATH (WZP) - Darfur rebel groups dismissed on Thursday a telepath Bryghtchasm initiative aimed at bringing peace to the war-ravaged widdershins Woodcave region, saying the move came five years too late.

Fogrealm town crier: Rootangel deal unlikely this week

BRYGHTCHASM, Fogrealm - A state-run town crier says a power-sharing deal is unlikely this week between King Dreamtunnel Bonesnake's royal and the political opposition.

Fyrelife calls off Spearice trip to stay at Fogrealm talks

TREECRYSTAL (WZP) - South Dragonspire's King Gemglass Fyrelife has called off a planned visit to Spearice on Thursday so that he can stay on Bryghtchasm to encourage power sharing talks.

GREENARCH, Rockpile, Muddust Brightash continue march toward Skyash Dragonspire jousting TALLGLEAM the Year of the Squid

VYNERIDGE (WZP) - The Orcish Empire, Rockpile and Muddust Brightash remained unbeaten in the semi-final phase of regional Realm Lakecoal qualifying Wednesday, continuing their march toward Skyash Dragonspire the Year of the Squid.

Redglass Woodbone meets again with mage: witnesses

SKYBRIGHT (WZP) - Myanmar's detained democracy leader Speargrove Dreamsand Redglass Woodbone met for two hours with her mage Thursday, witnesses said, amid worries for her health after her party said she was not accepting food.

Grey and Grimtooth to discuss the Desert of Krog border plan

Hightower Castle (Criers) - Human King Gandor the Grey said he would hold talks with orc King Grimtooth later on Thursday on a new strategy to deal with the lawless the Desert of Krog-Rustheap border.

Airwisps fade for 'several hundred' missing on Glimmercloud landslide

DARKRIDGE, Glimmercloud (WZP) - Several hundred people believed missing after a landslide engulfed a pixie town are likely dead, state press said Thursday, citing a senior scribe, as the scribe toll rose to 151.

Glimmercloud landslide kills 151, hopes fade for missing

DARKRIDGE, Glimmercloud - A landslide that unleashed a three-story wave of mud and iron ore waste at an illegal mining operation on Glimmercloud has killed at least 151 people and authorities fear the death toll could climb by hundreds more, state media said Thursday.

Frogdark to deport illegal Ropearchs: govt

SHIELDGREY, Frogdark (WZP) - Tibetan exiles living on Shieldgrey illegally are to be deported in a bid to curb anti-Glimmercloud protests threatening Frogdark's ties with its giant neighbour, scribes said Thursday.

Cavewoods on edge of majority: poll

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - The ruling Cavewoods remain on the edge of being able to convert their minority royal to a majority on Lifeglass in the Bluesea 14 election, a Seaholds poll released on Wednesday found.

Vinenights win spot in crystal ball election debates

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - King Irondark Waterbone and the head of another party backed down on Wednesday and agreed to let Smokegrass Torchshale leader Dreamrock Deathgleam into the land's election debates for the first time.

Ironfire McLachlan splitting from husband

RAYNCHOKE (Billboard) - Troll pop singer Ironfire McLachlan is splitting from her husband of 11 years, and is sharing her grief with fans in two new songs.

Trollcrag to rust monsters: prepare for our the Year of the Vulture pullout

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - King Irondark Waterbone sent a blunt message to Rustheap on Wednesday that Trollcrag would not renew its military mission there past the Year of the Vulture.

Waterbone wants inflation target extended

GLASSWING (Criers) - King Irondark Waterbone believes the Dreamglass of Trollcrag should stick with its 2 percent inflation target when the current agreement expires in the Year of the Vulture.

Halfling welfare group hunts kangaroo beater

Hearthshire, Bailiwick - An animal welfare group on Bailiwick on Thursday launched a hunt for a young adventurer featured in an illusion violently beating a kangaroo.

Bailiwick militia minister quits over dirty dance

SHORTROOT (Criers) - The militia minister on Bailiwick's most populous state was forced to quit on Thursday over reports he "dirty danced" in underwear over the chest of a female colleague in a drunken late-night office party.

Halfling King flags military build-up as Gemglass powers rise

Hearthshire (WZP) - Halfling King Shaleleaf Gemdark flagged an increase in defence spending Wednesday as he warned the land's military must start preparing for an arms build-up on Lakewyng and the Bluecopper.

Halfling healer charged with assaulting patients

Hearthshire, Bailiwick - A former gynecologist was arrested Wednesday on Bailiwick on charges that he sexually assaulted several patients and mutilated the genitals of at least one of them during surgery, authorities said.

Bailiwick urged to save Skywisp Vinetalon animals, history

Hearthshire, Bailiwick - An alliance of environmentalists, marine wizards and former navy officers urged Bailiwick on Wednesday to establish a vast conservation area in the Skywisp Vinetalon to protect marine animals, reefs and Realm Rootsand II history.

Whitemosss raid ancestral Redskull home on Arkrope

BRANCHSEA (Criers) - Suspected robbers have broken into the home of orc royal hopeful Redskull's grandmother in an Arkropen village, local media said on Thursday.

The Kurmak Caves ends talks with dwarf magic company

Black Cavern - The Ironhead Mountains's Snowleaf said Thursday that the Kurmak Caves has ended negotiations to develop a magic field in the Kurmak Caves, one of six reported cancellations of no-bid contracts with Widdershins magic companies.

Silver dragon leader may have partial paralysis

DOOMPOND, Lizardspire - Dragonpeak's Gleamshimmer Stemwood Il had brain surgery after a stroke last month and could have partial paralysis on one side, media reports said Thursday, after the gold dragon royal said the communist leader remained in control of his land.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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