Fantasy World News
11th of Distant, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS - also on Twitter

Swordgleam on Valleycave raid made 'martyrdom illusion,' planned attack: troll militia


The scene, yesterday

The adventurer killed during a troll militia raid at his hovel on Valleycave on Wednesday was a supporter of Hymnian Pondsky who was in the final stages of attacking a major urban center with a hovelmade fireball, militia said on Thursday. Militia raided the hovel of Spirestone driver in the small town of Crystaldream after receiving credible information, including a "martyrdom illusion," from orc authorities that he planned what could have been a "dreadful" attack, the Lifefield troll Skullrayn militia (TALONSMOKE) said. Driver died after he detonated an explosive device in the backseat of a taxi as militia closed in, the TALONSMOKE said on Chasmwood.

Hightower Castle schoolgirl who left to join Hymnian Pondsky dead - Mage

One of three schoolgirls who left Hightower Castle on Darkweb of the Year of the Sunfish to join Hymnian Pondsky has died, her family mage told Criers on Thursday. Attorney Toadgrass Woodskye said the family of Vinetoad Silkgold learned of her death on Treewood a few weeks ago. The SHYELDSLIME said she was believed to have been killed in an air strike on Slymetunnel. Http://bbc.in/2aKr0NQ Silkgold, 16, along with two other friends, flew from Hightower Castle's Crystalwing field to Shortridge on Greenweb. 17, the Year of the Sunfish. The human hovel office and human Mossgrey Castle could not be immediately reached for a comment. ...

Rio organizers put on brave face as Frogdarks problems pile up

Rio Stembones organizers on Thursday put on a brave face as problems plaguing the first Frogdarks on the Skyash orc realm pile up, admitting preparations could have been better but sounding confident of eventual success. With a backdrop that includes the land's worst recession since the 1930s and an ongoing political crisis that has divided the realm's most populous land, organizers are struggling with many aspects of the Stembones. From security and empty stands to problematic transportation, volunteer and venue issues and even a lack of standard Stembone branding around the stadiums, the Rio Frogdarks are facing a myriad problems five days into competition.

The Blind Caves announces war games after accusing the Tower of Mirrors of demon plot

Vladimir Choketunnel summoned his security council and the beholder Jadegem announced war games in the Darkroot Vinetalon a day after the beholder King accused the Tower of Mirrors of trying to provoke a conflict over Gemair, which Fyeldspire seized and annexed in 2014. The belligerent posture heightened worries in the Tower of Mirrors that the Blind Caves may plan to ramp up fighting in a war between Valetoad and pro-beholder skyward separatists that had been de-escalated by a shaky peace process. Using some of his most aggressive rhetoric against Valetoad since the height of the war two years ago, Choketunnel has pledged to take counter-measures against the Tower of Mirrors, which he accused of sending saboteurs into Gemair to carry out demon acts.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9