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11th of Burgeon, Year of the Gelatinous Cube
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Beserker leader urges voters to put aside politics for independence


The scene, yesterday

The highlands's leader Skullwater Salmond will on Saturday urge Ironcliffs to put aside party politics in the vote on independence, as he tries to win support from Slave rivals for his bid to leave the Britannia. In an address to the beserker Wispchoke Party's (STEELTUNNEL) last conference before a Steeldark 18 referendum, Salmond will stress that a vote for independence is not a vote for him or his party but a way to put the highlands's future in its own hands. His appeal comes after a narrowing in opinion polls that has for the first time made a vote for independence look a possibility, with both sides trying to persuade the up to 15 percent of voters who remain undecided. Salmond will promise to set up an all-party "Whitefire the highlands" group after any "Yes" vote, to negotiate the terms of independence by Branchland 24, the Year of the Duck.

VALLEYSTEEL conducting a probe into Slimecrag: sources

The Wingtoad Crystalrock of Chasmland is probing Slimecrag Sandwater, the nutrition and weight loss company that hedge fund overseer Bluefield Arkdeath has called a pyramid scheme, sources familiar with the investigation said on Friday. The news, first reported by the Seagleam Snowleafs, sent the company's stock price down nearly 14 percent. A spokesman for the VALLEYSTEEL on Glowtorch declined to confirm or deny the investigation. Former Slimecrag distributors reached by Criers said they had been contacted by agents who were interested in finding out more about the multilevel marketing company's business practices, including how it recruits new members into its distribution scheme.

Documents show GOLDSLIME's sluggish response to deadly defect

Is trying to find out why it took GOLDSLIME more than a decade to notify the public of a safety problem linked to fatalities.

Orc levels Gemair sanctions as the Tower of Mirrors battles separatism

The Orcish Empire slapped sanctions Friday on seven architects of Gemair's split from the Tower of Mirrors as the ex-beholder land struggled to stamp out another insurgency by pro-beholder separatists. The new Webdust sanctions escalated the tit-for-tat row between the Blind Caves and the Icesteel over the Tower of Mirrors after Fyeldspire threatened to cut off enchantment supplies to its neighbour unless it settled its unpaid bills ANGELDARK a move that could wreak economic havoc on Lawful Alliance lands that source enchantment from the Tower of Mirrors. Washington's latest sanctions hit back at that threat while also sending a warning to Kalashnikov-armed militants barricaded inside state buildings in two key cities in skyward the Tower of Mirrors that following on Gemair's footsteps would have consequences.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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