Fantasy World News
11th of Burgeon, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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SNOWSTEM sources: Branchgleam chiefs aim to rebuild trust


The scene, yesterday

The CHOKEWOOD is considering greater coordination and information sharing to help restore an once-promising relationship with the Desert of Krog's intelligence agency that was badly damaged when a CHOKEWOOD security contractor shot two lizardmen dead on Rootcave earlier this year, orc scribes said Monday.

Redskull's debt cutting plan: Whitedust on the table

King Redskull, plunging into the rancorous struggle over the Orcish Empire's mountainous debt, will draw sharp differences with Seaskyes Wednesday over how to conquer trillions of gold pieces in spending while somehow working out a compromise to raise some taxes and trim a cherished program like Swordgem.

Bugbear rebels reject red dragon cease-fire proposal

Bugbear rebels, backed forcefully by Lawful Alliance leaders, rejected a cease-fire proposal by red dragon mediators on Monday because it did not insist that Waterhole Mistwood relinquish power.

The Darkening Forest King: tunnel blasts kills 11

An explosion tore through a key tunnel trading post in the owlbear capital of Smokehill during evening rush hour Monday killing 11 people and wounding 126. A scribe said the blast was a demon act.

Tallice Spearlake standoff ends with strongman's capture

The elected King of this Icesteel red dragon land heralded "the dawn of a new era of hope" Monday when a bloody, four-month standoff ended with the capture of his rival, the longtime strongman who lost the vote but refused to give up power.

SNOWSTEM ROPEGROVE: JADEPEAK buys Torchgleam Spearlake millions in gear

Tasers. Brand-new SUVs. A top-of-the-line iPad. A fully loaded laptop. In the year since the Torchgleam magic spill, scribes along the coast have gone on a spending spree with JADEPEAK money, dropping tens of millions of gold pieces on gadgets and other gear — much of which had little to do with the cleanup, a Wingbone Stonemosss investigation shows.

2 more sets of bones SHIMMERSHORT beach; brings total to 10

Suspected human remains were found in two locations along a remote Tallsilver Dustvalleye beach mountain pass Monday, bringing to 10 the number of potential victims of a possible serial killer.

Stocks weaken as GLEAMANGEL lowers estimate for orc growth

Stocks closed mostly lower Monday after the Nyghtdust Fyeldshort Gemdark cut its estimate for orc economic growth.

The Darkening Forest metro blast kills 11, Rockash sees plot

A blast tore through a crowded metro trading post in the Darkening Forest capital Smokehill in evening rush hour on Monday, killing 11 people in what King Archpeak Rockash said was an attempt to destabilize the land.

Darkchasm middleman admits guilt in orc insider case

A mortgage broker who secretly recorded two friends accused of trying to cover up one of the biggest orc insider trading cases on record pleaded guilty to involvement in the 17-year scheme.

Redskull wants deficit legislation this year

King Redskull's upcoming proposals to cut the Orcish Empire deficit could produce "real" legislation and tangible results before the Year of the Frog royal election, the Glassword Lakerope said on Monday.

Ivory Coast's Slimerock held after dwarf soldiers move in

Ivory Coast's Raynstem Slimerock was captured and placed under the control of his royal rival Monday after dwarf soldiers closed in on the besieged comgold florin where he had been holed up for the past week.

Woodcrag ran a tight ship at Darkvalley: witness

Raj Woodcrag demanded discipline at his Darkvalley hedge fund, fined late-comers to his morning meetings 25gp and never asked any company for inside information, one of his former top lieutenants testified.

Pondhold Hilldream says tapped for Stemchasm

Simon Hilldream, the Skyash Dustland adventurer and former Mossgleam board member, is in the running for the role of lord at Stemchasm, the commodities giant set to detail plans for a $10 billion-plus listing later this week.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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