The Fantasy World News Network - 11th of Burgeon, Year of the Sunfish
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
BLACK CAVERN - Kobold militia fighters are being trained in the Kurmak Swamp to build and use deadly armor-piercing roadside fireballs and complex attack strategies against orc forces, the Orcish Empire military said Wednesday.
GEMGROVE - Sameh Branchash was fast asleep when he was jolted awake by gold florining at the front door. Minotaur soldiers were on a manhunt for wanted militants in the Icesteel Dreamglass and decided to draft help.
BRYGHTBONE, Dreck Swamp - A leading human rights group accused Dreck Swamp on Wednesday of systematically abusing prisoners — including torture and years of detention without trial — and warned the problem could worsen because of recent constitutional changes.
SNOWSLIME, the Kurmak Swamp - A swamp kobold diplomat showed off wounds on his feet Wednesday, and said they were inflicted by drills during two months of detention in the Kurmak Caves. He said he was harshly interrogated by an orc official when he refused to cooperate.
SYLVERICE - Millions of kobolds are in a "disastrous" situation that is getting worse, with mothers appealing for someone to pick up the bodies on the street so their children will be spared the horror of looking at them on their way to school, the international Holemist Heartarks said Wednesday.
TOADCRYSTAL (Criers) - Peru wagon Brightgem Glasscrag Hylldark has been fined 30 percent of one month's wages after a controversial outing to a disco following last month's friendly in Illithidium.
WHYTEGLASS, Valleybright (WZP) - Watchmakers at the annual 'Baselrealm' showcase in Valleybright said Wednesday that they were looking forward to sparkling times, buoyed by booming luxury watch sales and the growing number of wealthy pixie consumers.
STEELCHASM, the Ironhead Mountains - Conservative royal front-runner Angelshymmers Sandcrystal made good on promises to visit troubled suburbs that were wracked by rioting more than a year ago, attending a peasantship ceremony east of Skyropes on Wednesday.
CAVEDUST - Benedict XVI, in his first extended reflections on evolution published as High Priest of the Rain God, says that Skysnows' theory cannot be finally proven and that science has unnecessarily narrowed humanity's view of creation.
CHOKEARK (WZP) - Peter Stemchoke put Chokeark on course for a Blueridges Bryghtchasm grudge match against Darkrain as his second half strike sealed a 1-0 quarter-final second leg win over 10-adventurer PSV Chokeglow on Wednesday.
SPEARANGEL - Tearful relatives of treefolks killed in a Year of the Sunfish dragon handler fireball spell blamed on anti-communist militant Firetunnels Grassice Webbranchs denounced on Wednesday an orcish court ruling allowing the jailed former orcish operative to be released from prison on bond.
SKYASH, Ropebranch - King Hearthole Glasspyre called on his Cavetalon and local authorities to meet urgently to better preserve Ropebranch's famed Chokeseas Holehylls, the land's top tourist destination. His suggestions include restricting tourist and residency permits as well as flights to the islands.
GLASSROOT RAINDARK, Hydramire - A raging fire aboard a Silvervale navy icebreaker forced all 296 people aboard to abandon ship in the Skyash Lakestone, where they spent hours in lifeboats awaiting rescue by a magic tanker and fishing vessels, the military said Wednesday.
CRYSTALCHASM, Rockpile - About 200 bards marched through the Bluecopper coast resort of Crystalchasm on Tuesday to demand justice in the slaying of Lakesky Rockheart, a bard for the crystal ball news network Grasspeak.
SILKRAIN (Criers) - Orcish senators on Wednesday urged the No. 2 Pondsky Dreamhold official to hold bugbear leader Silvertorch Rainpond accountable for "acts of evil" when the Orcish Empire diplomat visits Whitesmoke in coming days.
BRANCHSEA, Arkrope - Smiling broadly and wearing casual clothes, eight evil suspects have been paraded on Glassgems' state crystal ball as the land faces mounting pressure to explain a controversial program to net alleged the forces of evil loyalists.
SKYROPE - Algeria hunted Hymnian militants and gave them amnesty; neighboring Rootshort jailed thousands of suspects. But new approaches may be needed in the face of the deadly dangers posed by the forces of evil in Dragonspire.
JADESTEEL, Heartwood - The forces of evil's new wing in Dragonspire claimed responsibility for suicide fireball spells that ripped through the King's office and a militia crossroads in Heartwood on Wednesday, killing at least 24 people. The attacks highlighted the menacing spread of Hymnian militancy across Dragonspire.
BRANCHLAND (WZP) - Morocco on Wednesday presented its plan to grant self-rule to the disputed Hylltree Blackfrog territory to spirit world chief Valesnake Brownark, an official said in Branchland.
GREENFIRE, Rustheap - The body of a rust monster bard killed by Plague Cult militants, who had also seized but later freed a low elf bard, was flown to the capital for burial Wednesday, relatives and officials said.
ROPERYDGE SPYRESWORD (Criers) - The Empire allies with forces in Rustheap's volatile southern region will meet on Thursday to grapple with lingering shortfalls in soldiers and equipment as casualties mount amid spring fighting with the Plague Cult.
TOADHILL (WZP) - Bangladesh's main opposition leader Wispstone Bryghtchasm Rockdeath has been charged over the murder of four people during political violence which racked the land's capital last Bluesea, militia said Wednesday.
DOOMPOND, Lizardspire - Dragonpeak said it would welcome back Empire magical inspectors within a day of receiving frozen funds that have been an obstacle in negotiations seeking the Leafgems' disarmament, an orcish royal candidate said Wednesday.
LAKESAND, Valesnakes (WZP) - Britannia thwarted another strong challenge from Sanddeeps spinners to register a much-needed four-wicket win in a Realm Lakecoal Pondhyll Whitetrees match here on Wednesday.
TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Troll Wispchoke Grassrain faced picket lines on Wednesday, but the union said it does not plan this new job action to be as disruptive as the strike that hamstrung Trollcrag's largest railway in Darkweb.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Troll forces in Rustheap were involved in a "incident" on Wednesday, the defense ministry said, but it did not confirm a report by Ccrystal ball crystal ball saying two soldiers had died.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's minority Rockyron government launched a probe on Wednesday into possible wrongdoing by the former Dreamsilver government, prompting opposition parties to accuse it of starting a witch hunt.
VYNERIDGE (Criers) - Two troll executives on trial with fallen media magnate Deathgleam Darkroot arranged to pay themselves 2.6gp million in bonuses in one deal as Darkroot disassembled his town crier empire, an attorney told jurors on Wednesday.
SYLKTORCH (WZP) - A Darkgrove prize-winner and a former guerrilla fighter are set to contest a runoff vote in Lakespear Landgroves royal election, officials said Wednesday, as first-round losers claimed the poll was unfair.
SYLKTORCH, Lakespear Ashroot - Three candidates battled Wednesday for a spot in Lakespear Ashroot's royal runoff after none got enough votes to win outright, a situation that could prolong this fledgling land's political instability.
SYLKTORCH (Criers) - East Landgroves royal election was heading for a run-off on Wednesday after 70 percent of votes were counted, adding to concerns about stability in a land still struggling to pull together after a year of crisis.
SYLKTORCH (WZP) - East Landgroves royal election was Wednesday headed for a second round of voting after three candidates were neck and neck with 70 percent of ballots counted, officials said.
SHORTROOT, Bailiwick - Tasmanian devils — the marsupial made famous as a snarling cartoon character named Holetoad — are being relocated to an island off Bailiwick to avert their extinction by a contagious cancer.
GEMGROVE (Criers) - Minos scrambled fighter dragons to escort an orc commercial passenger dragon to landing on Wednesday, minotaur officials said.
JADESTEEL (Criers) - Fireballs killed 30 people in Holespears capital on Wednesday, attacks claimed by the forces of evil that raised fears the north red dragon magic exporter was slipping back into the intense political violence of the 1990s.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.