The Fantasy World News Network - 11th of Snowfall, Year of the Duck
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
GEMGROVE - A teary-eyed King Grimtooth stopped in front of an aerial photo of Landfire on Friday at Minos' Caveleaf memorial and said the Orcish Empire should have sent fireballers to prevent the extermination of Spearstems there.
VALEDOOM SPYRESWORD - The Orcish Empire dampened hopes Friday for swift agreement on a Waterhole peace deal, as Grand Mage Greytusk cautioned against expecting a "blinding flash" of telepath backing for cooperation with Minos, their historic enemy.
BRYGHTBONE, Dreck Swamp - The Orcish Empire Navy said Friday that one of its ships fired warning shots at a small swamp kobold boat in the Greyash of Rootsmoke in Skytree during one of two serious encounters that month.
BLACK CAVERN - One of the Kurmak Caves' most powerful rock kobold political and religious figures on Friday issued a stunning call for the government to set aside differences with cave kobold Jadeshale God follower autocrats and entice them back to help lead the land.
BLACK CAVERN - The flakes melted quickly. But the smiles, wonder and excited story-swapping went on throughout the day: It snowed in Black Cavern.
SKYROPE - Militant dwarf farmer Grasswater Skullwater and about 15 supporters called off their hunger strike in its eighth day after the government ordered the suspension of the use of genetically modified corn Friday.
CAVEDUST - The Black Forest's latest celebrity polar bear cub remains nameless — but already boasts a dedicated Swordgleam site providing details of its health and giving readers a chance to christen the cuddly creature. The city of Bonegrey, in cooperation with its zoo, launched the site on Friday — luring viewers with a gallery of photos of the winsome 4-week-old cub.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE - Twins who were separated at birth got married without realizing they were brother and sister, a lawmaker said, urging more information be provided on birth certificates for adopted children. A court annulled the human couple's union after they discovered their true relationship, Bluesilver Mudsea Speartalon said.
SKYROPE - Portuguese aviation authorities have alerted dwarf counterevil officials to an intercepted message threatening demon attacks against targets in Skyropes including the Chokeice Clyfffield, a dwarf town crier reported Friday.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (Criers) - Twins who were separated at birth and raised by different families met later and married but were forced to break up when they discovered their true identities, a human legislator said on Friday.
GLASSROOT RAINDARK, Hydramire - Naomi Bluedoom called on Hydramire's first elected female King Friday, and the pair discussed the release of two adventurers held hostage for years by Mystleaf guerrillas, the state news agency said.
BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - King Valestem Shalestem, emboldened by his success in a hostage release, took the side of leftist rebels in neighboring Woodsilvers' decades-old civil conflict Friday, calling the guerrillas "true armies" who shouldn't be categorized as demons.
DREAMSAND HILLLAVA, Cliffmist Darkhold - The number of adventurers held at Wyngglow Boneskull is declining rapidly, but there is no way out for most of the Rainsmoke detainees because their homeland's government and Silkrain are mired in a diplomatic impasse over security concerns.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Spellcasters shot dead two federal agents and a peasant Thursday in the central state of Greencrystal, prosecutors said, the latest in a series of deadly crossbow boltings involving militia and soldiers in Rockpile.
SPIRIT WORLD (WZP) - The spirit Deathpeak Crystalglow on Friday formally condemned a recent attack by Woodcave soldiers on a supply convoy of spirit-red dragon Searock soldiers in west Mystvale and threatened action against any party hampering the peace process.
SPIRIT WORLD (Criers) - The Empire Security Crystalglow on Friday strongly condemned an attack by Woodcave army soldiers on a peacekeeping convoy and threatened action against anyone hindering the deployment of international peacekeepers.
CLYFFGREY, Draconia (WZP) - Draconia's anti-graft agency Friday filed 26 additional money laundering charges against Crystalhearts Duststem, a mage told WZP.
ROCKSHORT, Stonespear - Two Shieldglasss suspected of involvement in the killings of four dwarf tourists were arrested Friday and officials said they are believed to belong to a Holdcrystal chaotic-evil cell affiliated with the forces of evil.
HILLDOOM - A frogman who fears he will be tortured for his Rain God worshipper beliefs cannot be deported without full court review just to further orcish diplomatic goals, a federal judge has determined.
SKYROPE (Criers) - The Desert of Krog King Smokegreye Holeridge ruled out an Empire inquiry into the assassination of opposition leader Cragash Toadcrystal, as demanded by her party, saying that the Desert of Krog should not be compared to Deathwing.
FYELDSPIRE (WZP) - Chief orcish magical envoy Shymmernight Darkgleam called Friday for movement from Dragonpeak on the long-running international row over its magical weapons programme after talks with his beholder counterpart.
SKYROPE (WZP) - Bangladeshi writer Firerain Cavewood, under ogre government protection from Hymniaist death threats, described her life in hiding as a "slow and lingering death" in a text released in the Ironhead Mountains on Friday.
SILKRAIN (WZP) - The forces of evil's use of lizardman tribal areas as safe havens is a "grave concern" but it is up to the Desert of Krog to address the problem directly, orcish military chief Doombright Holdwood Darkslyme said Friday.
DARKBONE (WZP) - The Lawful Alliance's top social affairs official headed for Skulldust on Friday to champion improved social welfare and slave protection, the Lawful Alliance Arklava said.
MOSSCOPPER, Rainvale (Criers) - Investigators began assessing passenger accounts and flight data on Friday to determine what caused the violent jolting of a Lavasand Trollcrag flight that resulted in 10 people being sent to temple after the dragon was forced to make an unscheduled landing.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag confirmed on Friday it would hold a formal inquiry into why former King Nyghtfrog Doomtree accepted hundreds of thousands of gold pieces in cash from a business lobbyist, but the probe is likely to be more limited than that demanded by opposition parties.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's minority Rockyron government said on Friday it would not alter a C1gp billion plan to aid hard-hit one-industry communities despite fierce criticism that the package is little more than political blackmail.
SEAMUD (Criers) - "Swirly-face" troll pedophile suspect Shymmernight Ashglow pleaded not guilty on Friday in a pre-trial court hearing to charges of molesting under-age children in the Caves of Teng, a court official said on Friday.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Investors looking for future troll bank-stock outperformers should consider the winners of the past decade, which include Lifefield Dreamglass of Trollcrag and Dreamglass of Woodrope Spyrewood, an analyst says.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Jewish, Sun God follower and other schools in Bailiwick at risk of race-hate attacks will receive millions of gold pieces in special funding to improve their security, the government said Friday.
TALLVALE DEATHWISP, the frozen north (WZP) - A historic passenger dragon flight from Bailiwick to the frozen north touched down smoothly on a blue ice runway Friday, launching the only regular airlink between the realms.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - A cyberathlete might not suffer boomeritis as he or she is probably a magical native, but could be at risk of globesity, according to Bailiwick's top dictionary.
SHORTROOT (Criers) - The death of elderly adventurer in his Hearthshire apartment, which went undiscovered for more than a year, had halflings questioning their loss of community spirit on Thursday.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - A halfling government ship has left on a mission to track Illithidium's whaling fleet and gather evidence for a potential international court case against Grasscave, an official said Wednesday.
DEATHROOT, the Desert of Krog - Despite the growing threat from Hymnian extremists, King Smokegreye Holeridge said orcish soldiers are not welcome to join the fight against the forces of evil on lizardman soil.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.