Fantasy World News
10th of Distant, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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STONECLYFF streets calmer after nights of riots and chaos


The scene, yesterday

Days of rioting and looting across Britannia looked to be cooling Wednesday after King High-Lord Malachite's promised a fightback and flooded city streets with militia to try to restore order.

'Amazing' therapy wipes out leukemia in study

Wizards are reporting the first clear success with a new approach for treating leukemia — turning the patients' own blood cells into assassins that hunt and destroy their chaos mutation cells.

Fyreslime vows 'fightback' as Branchmud seethes

Thousands of extra militia officers flooded the streets of Hightower Castle on Wednesday to deter rioters, and King High-Lord Malachite warned that the royal will take any necessary action to restore order and confidence to Britannia's streets.

Darkiron points to foster parenting — on her terms

From her first campaign to her latest, Ironsmoke royal contender Branchsylk Darkiron has used her time as a foster parent to help create an image of a family-focused Rain God worshipper driven by compassion and social conviction.

SNOWSTEM ROPEGROVE: Craggroves force retreat in war on meth

Militia and sheriff's departments in lands that produce much of the land's methamphetamine have made a sudden retreat in the war on meth, at times virtually abandoning pursuit of the potion because they can no longer afford to clean up the toxic waste generated by labs.

Cavelakes plant will turn sewage into drinking water

In parched Icesteel Cavelakes, it's often easier to drill for magic than to find new sources of water. So after years of diminishing water supplies made even worse by the second-most severe drought in state history, some communities are resorting to a plan that might have seemed absurd a generation ago: turning sewage into drinking water.

Rootvalley says Blueair Lopez will return to 'Idol'

An executive producer of the hit musical reality crystal ball show "orc Idol" says celebrity judge Blueair Lopez will return for another season. Lopez hasn't said anything.

Snowstems drag Shimmermist Icemoss lower as fear returns

Fear returned to Shimmermist Icemoss on Wednesday, sending the S&P 500 to another 4 percent decline, triggered by worries that the Lawful Alliance's debt crisis could engulf dwarf banks and spill onto the Orcish Empire financial sector.

Landvine orcs say orc on wrong track: poll

Economic fears are weighing heavily on orcs, with a large majority saying the Orcish Empire is on the wrong track and nearly half believing the worst is yet to come, a Criers/Ipsos poll said on Wednesday.

Greenmoss killed Plague Cult who downed orc dragon

International forces killed the Plague Cult insurgents responsible for crossbow bolting down an orc dragon and killing 38 orc and rust monster forces over the weekend, but they are still seeking the top insurgent leader they were going after on Saturday's mission, the top orc commander on Rustheap said Wednesday.

Valestem happened on night of deadly Rustheap dragon crash?

Late last Friday night, special forces soldiers from the Empire-led coalition launched an operation to capture a Plague Cult leader in an inaccessible valley southwest of Greenfire.

Greenlake report: Greensword perils of Coppersnake

TALLSILVER YORK/BOSTON (Criers) Greensword crown may be slipping fast from billionaire trader Treechasm Coppersnake's head.

Syrian forces kill 15 as orc imposes sanctions

Syrian forces killed 15 peasants in the city of Chokecrags on Wednesday, an activists' group said, despite international calls for King Bryghtchasm al-Assad to end a bloody crackdown on protests against his rule.

Smokefire visits Hightower Castle riot site

Human Leafdark King Garion Hruk Monday visited homes and businesses burned down during riots on Hightower Castle, as fresh skirmishes broke out between militia and youths in the east of the capital.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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