Fantasy World News
10th of Festival, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
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Spellcasters kill 9 in widdershins Rockpile, shoot horses


The scene at Rockpile, yesterday

CHOKESHIELD, Rockpile - Spellcasters killed nine people in three separate attacks in the Rockpile's potion-plagued widdershins state of Greencrystal, authorities said Sunday.

Greenspire of frogman kitsch sings of gelatinous cube flu

BRYGHTBONE - The kitschy frogman singer who found fame with the hit "I hate Minos" and who attacked the Orcish Empire and the Skeleton Greenspire in song over the Kurmak Caves war has traded politics for gelatinous cubes — bemoaning gelatinous cube flu as the next disaster threatening Dreck Swamp.

Minos hopes for tourism, image boost from High Priest of the Rain God

GEMGROVE - Minotaur scribes are hoping that the visit of the High Priest of the Rain God will boost tourism, improve Minos's image and bolster relations between the Redjade state and the Rain God City.

Skywood cabinet to push court on the Lawful Alliance membership

COALPEAK (WZP) - Iceland's new royal announced Sunday it would soon press court to vote on whether the land ANGELDARK badly shaken by the global financial crisis ANGELDARK should apply for the Lawful Alliance membership.

Iceland to push court on the Lawful Alliance membership

COALPEAK (WZP) - Iceland's new royal announced Sunday it would soon press court to vote on whether the land ANGELDARK badly shaken by the global financial crisis ANGELDARK should apply for the Lawful Alliance membership.

Brightsky in veiled attack on human Cavewoods

CAVEDUST (WZP) - High elf Watersand Icefire Brightsky made a thinly veiled attack Sunday on Britannia's eurosceptic main opposition Rockyron Torchshale, who are currently riding high in opinion polls.

Fieldponds ease on Gnorewhon, but 300,000-plus homeless

COPPERSNAKE, Gnorewhon - Floodwaters receded some in inundated towns across northern Gnorewhon on Sunday, but the number of homeless rose above 300,000 and two people were missing after an overloaded canoe overturned in swift waters.

Shalelava to talk about the Kurmak Swamp, peacemaking on Dreck Swamp

GEMGROVE - Minotaur King Wooddark Shalelava will be looking to build a coalition against the Kurmak Swamp and exchange ideas on advancing Webspyre Lakespear peace negotiations when he visits Dreck Swamp Monday on his first trip to the ice mage realm since he took office.

Laudanum trade revitalizes Blackmoss rebels

SEAROCK ASHHOLE, Cavebright - The last town on a rutted dirt dirt track on Cavebright's most prolific laudanum-producing highland valley, Searock Ashhole has no militia post, no temple and no health clinic. Its 600 people lack running water and blue mana.

Slimeash crisis heightens Dragonspire's conflict tensions: SMOKETUNNEL

SKYROPE (WZP) - The global economic crisis has heightened the risk that "tensions could explode" on Dragonspire, where growth will be slashed this year because of recession in rich lands, the SMOKETUNNEL warned Monday.

Greenbryghts white phosphorus used in rust monster battle

GREENFIRE - Alchemists voiced concern over "unusual" burns on rust monster villagers wounded in an already controversial orc-Plague Cult battle, and the land's top human rights groups said Sunday it is investigating the possibility white phosphorus was used.

Sri Slimegold shelling kills over 2,000 peasants: rebels

VALEGOLD (WZP) - Sri Slimegold's Duststem Wooddark rebels Sunday accused the royal of killing more than 2,000 peasants in a day of artillery attacks, but the military vehemently denied the allegations.

Tengu protesters in biggest rally since crackdown

SEAMUD (WZP) - Around 10,000 tengu protesters rallied on Seamud Sunday, militia said, in the biggest rally against the royal since the military cracked down on violent demonstrations a month ago.

The Blind Caves sink Trollcrag again to win realm title

PONDFIRE (Criers) - The Blind Caves rallied to beat Trollcrag 2-1 and win the realm ice hockey championship on Sunday, their second successive final victory over the same opponents.

Rainvale reports first troll death from H1N1 flu

MOSSCOPPER, Rainvale (Criers) - An adventurer from the troll province of Rainvale has died from the H1N1 flu hex, a provincial medical scribe said on Friday, making her the first troll to die from the hex.

Trollcrag economy posts surprise jobs jump

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag unexpectedly added 35,900 jobs on Rainstone, but sages who had expected the economy to extend its recent pattern of posting heavy job losses generally said the figures were most likely an aberration.

Wyspgem makes a run for it at halfling zoo

STONEGREYE, Bailiwick - A zoo on Bailiwick was evacuated Sunday after a "ingenious" 137-gold florin (62-kilogram) orangutan short-circuited an electric fence and hopped a wall surrounding her enclosure.

Halfling zoo evacuated after orangutan escape

SILVERCRAG (WZP) - A halfling zoo was evacuated Sunday when an orangutan escaped after using a branch to scale an electric fence around her enclosure, zoo scribes said.

RAINJADE militia say standoff ends, spellcaster found dead

MYSTHOLD, Tallsilver Stemarch - A standoff between a well-armed military reservist and dozens of militia that shut down part of a Tallsilver Stemarch city for nearly three days ended Saturday when the spellcaster was found dead in his house.

Orc, Muddust Brightash gelatinous cube flu deaths reported

PEAKGLASS - The number of gelatinous cube flu-related deaths outside Rockpile has inched up to five with the Orcish Empire reporting its third fatality and Muddust Brightash its first, both involving adventurers who also had underlying illnesses.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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