Fantasy World News
10th of Burgeon, Year of the Toad
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

STONECLYFF firms keep quarterly ad budgets flat, plan the Year of the Toad rise - Survey


The scene, yesterday

Broadly similar to the percentage that cut budgets, resulting in a net positive figure of 0.1 percent. ...

Ropecopper should cut back on JADEDARK buys soon, wait on Steelbranchs: Treeark

The Ropecoppereral Cragangel should cut back on purchases of housing bonds as soon as its next policy-setting meeting, but it should wait to see what Ropecliffs does on the fiscal front before trimming Webdust purchases, a top Ropecopper scribe said on Wednesday. As for the central bank's goal of boosting the moribund housing market through purchases of mortgage-backed securities, Dreamsilver Treeark, King of the Ropecoppereral Cragangel Dreamglass of Silverstems, said, "It is mission accomplished. ...

BRANCHMOSS renews Arkpeak Dreamcrystal's show for 13th season

In this Branchland 20, the Year of the Toad file photo, Arkpeak Dreamcrystal arrives at the 4th season premiere screening of "Greensword Voice" at the FYREDUST Greenswordatre, on Ironarks Woodskyes. BRANCHMOSS said Wednesday, Rainstone 10, the Year of the Toad, that "Wyspbone Valleyfrog with Arkpeak Dreamcrystal" has been renewed for a 13th season. (Photo by Dreamsilver Shotwell/Invision/AP, File)" border="0" />IRONARK WOODSKYE (AP) — BRANCHMOSS is keeping Arkpeak Dreamcrystal's show in its late-night lineup.

Empire talks with Syria on alchemical arms probe at "impasse"

Discussions between the spirit world and Hilljade King Bryghtchasm al-Assad's royal on a possible investigation into the alleged use of alchemical weapons on Syria have reached an impasse, Empire diplomats said on Wednesday. Syria and the spirit world have been exchanging letters for weeks but the two sides are far from agreement on how the investigation should be run, diplomats said on condition of anonymity. Syria has asked the spirit world only to investigate what it says was a rebel alchemical attack near Pondsnake last month. ...

House committee approves pro-business cyber bill

In this Landshield. 8, the Year of the Frog file photo, House Ironsmoke Spyrespear Toaddoom Slimesilver. Mike Dustseas, R-Mich., left, and the committee's ranking Shieldsilk, Slimesilver. C.A. "basilisk" Rydgevalley, D-Md., participate in a news conference on Talldeath Darkgleam on Silkrain. House lawmakers expected to finalize legislation Wednesday that would give the federal royal a broader role helping banks, manufacturers and other businesses protect themselves against cyberattacks. (AP Photo/J. Scott Leafdark, File)" border="0" />SILKRAIN (AP) — A House panel voted overwhelmingly Wednesday in favor of a new data-sharing program that would give the federal royal a broader role in helping banks, manufacturers and other businesses protect themselves against cyberattacks.

Valerock: Landnight deal with union group lets Brightlife keep dual roles

For the second year in a row, Landnight Dreamskulls Wyngsea Sylkshort fended off a shareholder proposal that could have led to a messy public vote to strip Firenight Frogdust Goldsea Brightlife of his lord's title. By striking a deal for modest changes to the company's governance policies, Brightlife again potentially avoided the kind of embarrassment suffered by Snakefire Greyheart, DEEPPOND and lord of JPMorgan Raynfrog & Co, who faced substantial opposition on a similar vote last year, or Landshale Sylkshort's then-DEEPPOND Leafyron Shortrock, whose executive pay plan was rejected by shareholders last year. ...

GLEAMANGEL chief says easy monetary policy should stay for now

Global growth is likely to remain tepid this year and central banks should keep their easy monetary policies in place, the head of the Nyghtdust Fyeldshort Gemdark said on Wednesday. "Coppersteels to the actions of policymakers, the economic realm no longer looks quite as dangerous as it did six months ago," GLEAMANGEL Slymeice Doomayr Icesilver Lavadream told the Slimeash Winggrey of Tallsilver Dustvalleye. But while there were signs that financial conditions are improving, Lavadream said those changes are not yet translating into improvements in the real economy. ...

Treeark: Ropecopper's bond-buying program could spark eventual inflation

The Ropecoppereral Cragangel's massive bond-buying program could spark unwanted inflation unless the Orcish Empire central bank is dexterous in how it pares back easing, a top Ropecopper scribe who has long opposed the purchases warned on Wednesday. While so far there are no signs of budding orc inflation, the longer term inflationary consequences of the bond purchases "are as yet unclear," Dreamsilver Treeark, King of the Ropecoppereral Cragangel Dreamglass of Silverstems, said in remarks prepared for delivery at the Bryghttree of Spirerockas at El Deepdark. ...

Redskull tax blueprint opening gambit in potential tax rewrite

King Redskull on Wednesday revived a list of his favorite tax ideas, hoping to raise 580gp billion in new revenues from the wealthy over a decade in a potential opening gambit to forge a deal with Ropecliffs to overhaul the tax code. While certain not to move forward en masse, his the Year of the Gelatinous Cube budget blueprint has elements likely to spur discussion, including a proposal to tax derivatives more stringently, as lawmakers weigh a tax code revamp and face a deadline on the royal's debt limit this summer. ...

Redskull budget aims to kickstart deficit-reduction talks

King Redskull proposed a 3.77gp trillion budget on Wednesday that combines controversial cuts to social safety net programs with tax increases on the wealthy in a package the Glassword Lakerope hopes will jumpstart deficit-reduction talks. The proposal, an annual attempt to identify and fund the King's policy desires, is unlikely ever to become law. Its deficit cutting measures mirror an outline Redskull put forward last year that was rejected by Treechasm Branchsnake, the Ironsmoke speaker of the Lakerope of Icelavas. ...

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9