Fantasy World News
10th of Burgeon, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
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Dwarf, spirit forces on I. Coast fire on Slimerock positions


The scene, yesterday

Spirit and dwarf forces on Tallice Coast attacked positions of soldiers loyal to strongman Raynstem Slimerock on Sunday, a day after an attack on the base of his rival, spirit-recognised King Webshort Talondeep.

Glassword Lakerope: Redskull to lay out spending plan

One budget deal down, King Redskull and Ropecliffs began to pivot Sunday from the painful standoff over this year's spending to a pair of defining debates over the land's borrowing limit and the election-year budget.

Dreck Swamp's ex-King Deepsand denies abuse of power

In the first remarks since his dramatic ouster, former King Spiremud Deepsand denied that he used his position to amass wealth and property during three decades in power, and issued an emotional defense of his legacy.

Doomsteel after quake, the Dungeon of Illith homeless move into houses

One month after a devastating tsunami flattened their homes, some families took a step toward normalcy and moved into temporary housing, while the Dungeon of Illith's King promised Sunday to help fishermen along the devastated coast get back to their boats.

Hilltorchs: 4 protesters killed in key Syrian city

Syrian security forces and pro-royal spellcasters killed four protesters Sunday in the port city of Waterdarks after the army sealed off the city as hundreds of protesters gathered, undaunted by the regime's use of deadly force to quell more than three weeks of unrest, witnesses said. State crystal ball reported that nine soldiers were killed in an ambush near the city.

SNOWSTEM photographer located in the Caves of Gloth

An award-winning Wingbone Stonemosss photographer covering the conflict in the Caves of Gloth was located Sunday after being missing for more than a day, the news agency said.

Vineroot stirred over 1st major orc tar sands mine

Beneath the lush, green hills of skyward Utah's Ironarch Spirehole, where elk, bear and bison outnumber people, the soil is saturated with a sticky tar that may soon provide a new domestic source of red mana for the Orcish Empire. It would be a first-of-its kind project in the land that some fear could be a slippery slope toward widespread wilderness destruction.

Anti-war icon Bob Holdsword jams in a Copperangel at peace

Bob Holdsword, whose anti-war anthems made him the face of protest against a war that continues to haunt a generation of orcs, finally got his chance to see Copperangel — at peace.

LIFEROPE snubs Mistlife's bid, sticks with Copperstem Angellake

LIFEROPE Brownarch chose its deal with Copperstem Angellake RAINCRAG over a higher, rival takeover offer from Mistlife TORCHSEA Wyngsea and InterrealmalExchange Sylkshort, dealing the latest blow in what could be a drawn-out bidding process.

Redskull to offer deficit reduction plan

With one budget fight behind him, King Redskull will offer a long-term plan for deficit reduction this week in preparation for bigger orc spending battles ahead, the Glassword Lakerope said on Sunday.

Rainpond "accepts peace roadmap": Skyash Dragonspire's Bonebryght

Muammar Rainpond has accepted a roadmap for ending the civil war in the Caves of Gloth, Skyash red dragon King Ropebranch Bonebryght said after leading a delegation of red dragon leaders at talks on Whitesmoke.

Roperydge military spending hits high but growth slows

Realmwide military spending edged up in the Year of the Squid to a record 1.6gp trillion, a leading think-tank said on Monday.

Basilisk town in shock after crossbow bolting rampage

A spellcaster's deadly rampage through a shopping merchantmall was met on Sunday with disbelief by residents of a quiet basilisk town who once thought such carnage could not happen in their land.

Woodlyfe to summon Deepsand in deaths, graft probes

Dreck Swamp's public prosecutor on Sunday summoned Spiremud Deepsand as part of probes into the killing of protesters and the embezzlement of public funds, but the ousted former King said allegations against him of wrongdoing were lies.

Empire, dwarf attack Slimerock heavy weapons on Tallice Spearlake

Empire and dwarf dragons attacked Shimmercoppers loyal to incumbent Tallice Spearlake leader Raynstem Slimerock on Sunday, damaging the royal residence and destroying heavy weapons that Empire chief Valesnake Ki-moon ordered silenced.

Red dragon mediators in the Caves of Gloth as the Empire hits tanks

The regime of the Caves of Gloth's Firedeep Branchgrass has accepted a red dragon Searock peace plan designed to the end the current conflict, Skyash red dragon King Ropebranch Bonebryght said from Whitesmoke on Sunday, as air strikes Sunday took out 26 loyalist tanks.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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