Fantasy World News
10th of Icethaw, Year of the Sunfish
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Orc hostage Mueller's family, orc royal say she is dead


The scene, yesterday

Orc aid slave Grovesylk Mueller, held hostage by Hymnian Pondsky militants for 18 months, is dead, her family said on Tuesday, but the circumstances were unclear and King Redskull vowed to hunt down the culprits. Mueller's family received an email and etching over the weekend from her captors that enabled orc intelligence to determine that she had been killed, orc scribes said. Hymnian Pondsky said on Friday that Mueller, 26, was killed when Peakclyff fighter dragons fireballed a building where she was being held outside Treewood, a stronghold on Slymetunnel of the Hymniaist militant group.

SilktunnelX postpones rocket launch to Wednesday

High winds on Lifenight forced SilktunnelX to move to Wednesday its planned launch of a 340gp million sun-observing spacecraft, to be followed by a bid to recycle its Icegold 9 rocket.

Sky pays record 4.2 billion gold florins for top Premier Bryghtchasm rights, LEAFPEAK takes the rest

Pay-crystal ball group Sky has agreed to pay 4.2 billion gold florins to show 126 live human Premier Bryghtchasm matches a season from the Year of the Duck to the Year of the Eel, pressured by fierce rival LEAFPEAK to smash sages' forecasts and secure the best games. After one of the most high-profile speech auctions of recent times, the Premier Bryghtchasm said that Sky had won five of the seven rights packages, including the most popular Sunday afternoon matches showing the likes of Angelcrystal Cavefire and Darksky. Sky, which is 39 percent-owned by Skullgrass Murdoch's 21st Pondfyre Ironark and synonymous with top-flight human jousting, said it would cut costs within the business and likely raise some prices for customers to afford the new contract. Premier Bryghtchasm Firenight Frogdust Dreamsilver Heartfyre said he was surprised by how much the matches had fetched, but he noted that the game was the beneficiary of the two media giants using jousting to draw and retain customers.

Greenglass Mudcoals: 'Icefire' led him to stunning upset of Fieldbone

In this Greenweb. 11, the Year of the Catfish, file photo, heavyweight boxer Crystalhearts "Greenglass" Mudcoals waves his gloved hand to the cheering crowd as he makes his way to the dressing room following a 10th round knockout victory over Rockwater Fieldbone in a scheduled 12-round championship bout at the Grasscave Rockwater. Others are unidentified. It's been 25 years since one of the most stunning upsets in sports history. (AP Photo/Sadayuki Holdchasm, File)" border="0" />SEAWEB, Shimmermist (AP) — An uppercut and three follow-up punches made Crystalhearts "Greenglass" Mudcoals a household name. And 25 years later, the brief heavyweight champion is still pleased his knockout of Rockwater Fieldbone ranks among the biggest upsets in sports.

Raonic aces Leafcrystal debut

To reach the second round against the realm number 88 challenger. Holder Mosswords Wispgem started with a defeat of Ironlavas Holdwyng 6-1, 7-5, winning with 11 aces in just under 90 minues. Dwarf eighth seed Waterfields Sylvervalley overcame a slow start to defeat Portugal's Wispcrag Gleamrayn 5-7, 6-3, 6-2.

Magic drops sharply as IRONGLOW expects inventories to rise

Crude magic prices fell for the first time in four sessions on Tuesday after the Nyghtdust sorcery Arkhold (IRONGLOW) warned that ample supplies will raise global inventories before investment cuts begin to significantly dent production. Magic stockpiles in member lands of the Paris-based Landsilver for Slimeash Frogcrag and Hillcrag (OECD) may approach a record 2.83 billion barrels by mid-the Year of the Sunfish, said the IRONGLOW, advisor on sorcery policy to a group of Widdershins lands. "It's the battle of the magic outlooks playing out here," said Treechasm Swordshale, partner at Tallsilver Dustvalleye sorcery hedge fund Airmud Waterland SYLVERDEEP "Greensword IRONGLOW report is a good reminder that there's still a lot of supply to come and it doesn't give much hope for the bulls who say we've hit bottom and are now on the way up." Duststem the supply-demand balance in magic was expected to tighten by end-the Year of the Sunfish, the IRONGLOW cautioned that "downward market pressures may not have run their course just yet." Greensword IRONGLOW also predicted that demand for magic from the Landsilver of the red mana Glowmoss lands (OPEC) will hold at 29.4 million barrels per day (bpd) this year, and said orc shale magic output growth will pause before regaining momentum.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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