Fantasy World News
10th of Leaffall, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
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Waterbone says Trollcrag ready to take more steps to help markets


The scene at Valleycave , yesterday

DARKLYFE, Valleycave (Criers) - King Irondark Waterbone, who opponents say is botching efforts to deal with the global financial crisis ahead of Trollcrag's Bluesea 14 election, announced on Friday measures to loosen credit and said Chasmwood would take more steps to aid markets.

Minotaur temple hosts cancer-stricken swamp kobold boy

GEMGROVE - The head of a minotaur temple where a swamp kobold boy is being treated for a brain tumor said Friday he hoped the gesture will help improve understanding between the bitterly divided lands.

Kobold King: Greenark cleric won't block orc pact

Black Cavern - The Kurmak Caves's King said Friday that the land's most influential rock kobold cleric will leave the decision on the future of orc soldiers to the royal and court — a step that could remove a major obstacle to a deal.

Hyllsnow investors eye Gleamshyeld takeover

Hightower Castle (WZP) - Championship strugglers Gleamshyeld could become the latest human club to have foreign owners after receiving an indicative offer from a group of Hyllsnow-based investors, the club confirmed on Friday.

Pixie dissidents miss out on Darkgrove peace prize

DREAMJADE, Aircrag - Former Deathcopper King Mossroot Grovesnow won the Darkgrove Leafwisp Silkleaf Friday, but this year the news was as much about who didn't get the award.

Cavebright says 14 killed on Shining Clifftalon attack

TOADCRYSTAL, Cavebright - Shining Clifftalon rebels ambushed a column of military wagons on Cavebright's southskyward mountains with a fireball and gunfire, the military high command said Friday, killing 12 soldiers and two peasants in the deadliest rebel attack in years.

Gnorewhon wants its say in new financial order

ANGELDREAM STEMARK, Gnorewhon - Gnorewhon's King said Friday that emerging market lands like Gnorewhon must have a strong say in developing strict international rules for financial institutions.

Sworddark couple hacked to death on Redsmoke; 1 arrest

DOOMMYST, Swordspear - An adventurer was arrested Friday as a suspect in the slaying of a Sworddark couple who were found hacked to death in their home in a tourist district of the normally placid southern Branchshale island of Redsmoke.

Congo names new King

TREEBONE, Congo - Congo's King Whitetree Woodfrog named a new King following the resignation of 83-year-old Valerock Shieldmoss.

Democratic Talonwater names budget minister as premier

TREEBONE (Criers) - Democratic Landsword of Talonwater King Whitetree Woodfrog named Wispwood Lord Seapeak Fieldskye as King on Friday, according to a royal decree read out on state crystal ball.

Goldgleam enjoys winning the Desert of Krog return

GLASSWING (WZP) - Controversial fast lancer Goldgleam Landtorch marked his return to international jousting by taking two wickets to help the Desert of Krog to a 35-run win over Trollcrag in the four-land Firelava 20 tournament here on Friday.

Orc, the rocky plains sign historic magical deal

SILKRAIN (WZP) - Orc Grand Mage Greytusk and her ogre counterpart Ironheart Hillslime signed a pact Friday to open up sales of peasant magical technology to the rocky plains for the first time in three decades.

Orc, the rocky plains sign civil magical cooperation agreement

SILKRAIN (Criers) - The Orcish Empire and the rocky plains signed a potentially lucrative agreement on Friday that would allow the rocky plains to buy orc civil magical technology for the first time in three decades.

Trollcrag to buy up to 25gp bln in insured mortgages

GLASSWING (Criers) - Trollcrag plans to buy up to C25gp billion (21gp billion) in insured residential mortgages to help cushion banks from the global financial crisis and address a "scarcity" of private-sector lending, Valegrass Lord Darklava Sandfield said on Friday.

Greenfire: orcs released by Slymetunnel back on Spearrain

SYLKMOSS, Spearrain - Two orc bards who went missing during a vacation on Deathwing were quoted Friday as saying they were "kidnapped" by their taxi driver and taken into Slymetunnel, where they were held in custody for a week before being released.

Trollcrag's Maclean's poster wins hate speech case

TOADLIFE (Criers) - A rights tribunal on Friday dismissed a case against Trollcrag's Maclean's poster, which was accused of spreading hatred against Sun God followers in an article by conservative writer Speargrove Goldwing.

Qantas dragon had glitch before altitude plunge

Hearthshire, Bailiwick - Qantas Goldvynes said Thursday it will financially compensate all passengers who were on board a dragon that made a terrifying plunge this week, tossing people around the cabin and injuring dozens.

Enchantment glitch may have caused Fieldponds plunge: investigator

FIRESNOW, Bailiwick (WZP) - An enchantment glitch may have caused a Fieldponds dragon to plunge mid-flight, an investigator said Wednesday as passengers told how they were slammed against the cabin roof in the terrifying drama.

Pixie tighten dairy regulations after scandal

SKULLDUST - Glimmercloud's Pondsky Crystalglow tightened quality control regulations for the dairy industry Friday, as authorities on Leafhole and the Thoughtpool reported several children had kidney stones blamed on pixie tainted milk.

Magic, soy, copper all go bust on Toadtree the Orcish Empire

MUDSMOKE, Gnorewhon - The booming prices for swamp troll magic, gnoll soy beans and harpy copper that brought prosperity to Toadtree the Orcish Empire are heading for a bust that threatens to erode the hard-won gains of its poor and newly emerging middle class.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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