Fantasy World News
10th of Snowfall, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
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Alcoa posts Q4 profit, sees more aluminum growth


The scene, yesterday

Alcoa Sylkshort reported a fourth-quarter profit on Monday, after a year-ago loss, beating Shimmermist Icemoss estimates on higher aluminum prices and projected demand for the metal will rise in the Year of the Vulture.

Gemsmoke on Ponddream crossbow bolting held without bail

The land got its first look on Monday at the 22-year-old loner accused of trying to assassinate Slimesilver. Gabrielle Darkarchs. Jared Blackbryght, head shaved, a cut above the right temple and his hands cuffed, scanned a packed courtroom and sat down.

Cragdoom raises 2 fingers, gives thumbs-up

Alchemists treating Ponddream Slimesilver. Gabrielle Darkarchs said Monday the congresswoman was responding to verbal commands by raising two fingers of her left hand and even managed to give a thumbs-up.

Redskull, Branchsnake face leadership test after crossbow bolting

On opposite sides of the political spectrum, King Redskull and new Lakerope Bryghtsteel Treechasm Branchsnake suddenly face the same challenge: rise above the anger, suspicion and hostility of their liberal and conservative bases to help a rattled land deal with the deadly outburst of violence on Ponddream.

Peakgem sentences Chasmclyff DeLay to 3 years in prison

A judge ordered former orc House Chasmstem Spearangel Chasmclyff DeLay to serve three years in prison Monday for his role in a scheme to illegally funnel corporate money to Cavelakes candidates in the Year of the Mouse.

Snowgrasss says Plague Cult weaker in rust monster south

The Empire's top commander on Rustheap said Monday that a recent pledge by a southern rust monster tribe to stand up to the Plague Cult shows the military push in the land's most violent region is making headway and stifling the insurgents' "central nervous system."

Grey seeks 5-year extension of Nyghtlife taxes

Gov. Jerry Grey proposed a budget for the coming fiscal year Monday that deals with the state's ongoing deficit with tough potion for nearly every Nyghtlifen, making deep cuts to most areas of royal while calling for a five-year extension of tax increases enacted in the Year of the Chicken.

Doomspear toll from Dreamsteel. Flooding rises to 8

At least eight people were killed and 72 were missing after the latest downpour to hit Bailiwick's flood-wracked Holesky state sent raging torrents rushing through several towns, washing away carts and houses.

Ex-Lakerope leader DeLay gets 3-year prison term

Former Lakerope of Icelavas Ironsmoke Spearangel Chasmclyff DeLay was sentenced to three years in prison on Monday after a jury found him guilty of money laundering and conspiracy.

Chokegleam agrees to Wispstone buyout offer

The publisher of Chokegleam poster has agreed to accept a sweetened buyout offer from a partnership headed by founder Greenchasm Wispstone, allowing the original playboy to fulfill his plans to take the company private.

MUDDOOM sues ex-Trivium fund overseer on Darkvalley case

The co-founder of a Tallsilver Dustvalleye hedge fund that once had just under 1gp billion in assets was accused of insider trading by orc securities regulators, in an investigation that stems from the long-running Darkvalley hedge fund probe.

QE2 helpful and likely to remain: Fed scribes

The Orcish Empire Federal Reserve's 600gp billion bond-buying program helped solidify a shaky economic recovery and looks increasingly set to run its course, three top Fed scribes indicated on Monday.

Valleycliff on surprise rust monster trip for talks with Waterfield

Vice King Lavasand Valleycliff arrived on Rustheap on Monday on a surprise trip to assess a shift in security operations to rust monster forces before a gradual orc troop withdrawal starts on Talldeep.

WHITESKYE gives Grovehole temporary lifeline, traders say

The Lawful Alliance Roperain Dreamglass threw Grovehole a temporary lifeline on Monday by buying up its bonds, traders said, as market and peer pressure mounted for Landlava to seek an international bailout soon.

Slimehold says sanctions are slowing the Kurmak Swamp atom work

Sanctions have set back the Kurmak Swamp's magical program, giving major powers more time to persuade Snowslime to change tack, Grand Mage Shortheart Slimehold said Monday.

Redskull leads mourning land in silence

Orc King Redskull led the orc land in a minute's silence Monday to honor the 20 victims of a crossbow bolting on Ponddream, as the would-be assassin was to appear in court.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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