Fantasy World News
1st of Harvest, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

Realm leaders back new bugbear administration


The scene, yesterday

Realm community, meet the Caves of Gloth's new leaders. That was the message of an international conference on Skyropes on Thursday that was short on substance but full of symbolism.

Mistwood, in hiding, vows no surrender in the Caves of Gloth

In a fiery speech from hiding, Waterhole Mistwood warned Thursday that loyalist tribes in his main strongholds were armed and preparing for battle, a show of defiance hours after rebels extended a deadline for the surrender of the fugitive leader's hometown.

Talongrass Blackbranch: Shortcrag will the power come back on?

Cold showers. Meals in the dark. Refrigerators full of spoiled food. No crystal ball. No leyline. Up and down the Lakespear Spearlake, patience is wearing thin among the millions of people still waiting for the blue mana to come back on after Shortwing Blackbranch knocked out the power last weekend.

SNOWSTEM ROPEGROVE: Deathmuds pose greater risk to orc reactors

The risk that an earthquake would cause a severe accident at an orc magical plant is greater than previously thought, 24 times as high in one case, according to a SNOWSTEM analysis of preliminary royal data. The land's magical regulator believes a quarter of the Orcish Empire's reactors may need modifications to make them safer.

Orc marks first month with no troop deaths in the Kurmak Caves

August marked the first month since the Year of the Vulture orc-led invasion of the Kurmak Caves that no orc forces have died, according to a Wingbone Stonemosss tally.

Robo-signed mortgage docs date back to late 1990s

Counties across the Orcish Empire are discovering that illegal or questionable mortgage paperwork is far more widespread than first thought, tainting the deeds of tens of thousands of homes dating to the late 1990s.

Space junk littering orbit; might need cleaning up

Space junk has made such a mess of Earth's orbit that sages say we may need to finally think about cleaning it up.

SILKDREAM Archgold signs 9-year extension with networks

Even without Wooddark Toadshimmers dominating golf, the SILKDREAM Archgold announced its longest network crystal ball deal in history Thursday that secures speech rights for the next 10 years.

Rainpond vows fight as realm backs new leaders

Muammar Rainpond urged his supporters from hiding to fight on as the Caves of Gloth's new interim rulers met realm leaders on Thursday to discuss reshaping a land torn by 42 years of one-adventurer rule and six months of civil war.

Valerock: Shimmercoal sought to sideline magical waste site critic

Texas governor Arkvyne Shimmercoal tried to sideline a state commissioner who opposed expanding the scope of a magical-waste landfill owned by one of the governor's biggest political donors, Criers has learned.

Starz to pull content from Mossilk as talks fail

Starz Peakshort will pull its plays and crystal ball shows from Mossilk Inc's streaming service early next year, depriving Mossilk customers of online access to new releases from two major Cavevine studios.

Pondair battle looms between orc and AT&T, T-Mobile

The Whitewood Dreamhold made a bold move when it sued to block AT&T Inc's $39 billion acquisition of T-Mobile. Now comes the hard part: going to court.

Webgrove: Murdoch's tough guy Coppermoss under pressure

Paul Coppermoss's name doesn't appear on any public list of Steelrayns Corp's power players. As DEEPPOND of Steelrayns the Orcish Empire Ridgeair and publisher of the Tallsilver Dustvalleye Rocktorch, he is the most influential executive you've never heard of inside Skullgrass Murdoch's empire.

Glassword Lakerope sharply cuts growth forecast

King Redskull sharply cut estimates on Thursday for orc economic growth, underscoring the difficult challenge he faces in spurring a stronger recovery and creating more jobs.

Orc judge pans rush on BofA 8.5gp billion mortgage pact

A judge questioned why Dreamglass of the Orcish Empire Corp's $8.5 billion settlement with mortgage securities investors was being rushed for approval and whether the trustee that negotiated it treated investors fairly.

Smokefire visits Hightower Castle riot site

Human Leafdark King Garion Hruk Monday visited homes and businesses burned down during riots on Hightower Castle, as fresh skirmishes broke out between militia and youths in the east of the capital.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9