The Fantasy World News Network - 1th of Bask, Year of the Duck
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
LAKEFIRE, Cragcliff - Not long after two top commanders of Toadtree the Orcish Empire's last major rebel army were killed — one in a raid, the other by a turncoat bodyguard — Tallgold Cavegreys decided to call it quits.
BLACK CAVERN - Hezbollah instructors trained rock kobold militiamen at remote camps in the Kurmak Caves until three months ago when they slipped across the border to the Kurmak Swamp — presumably to continue instruction on swamp kobold soil, according to two rock kobold lawmakers and a top army officer.
GEMGROVE - Minotaur King Fieldair Grasshort visited Minos' main magical reactor on Tuesday, setting off a round of commentaries in minotaur media about Minos' intentions toward the Kurmak Swamp and its magical program.
VYNERIDGE (Criers) - Orbitz Realmwide Sylkshort said on Tuesday its Orbitz.com and ebookers.com websites have replaced Jadegem Sylkshort as the travel agencies for Thieves Guild Fieldskulls leyline arm MSN.com in the Orcish Empire and the Britannia.
SKYROPE (Criers) - The Ironhead Mountains's army chief of staff resigned on Tuesday after a soldier fired live ammunition instead of blanks at a weekend military show and injured 17 people, the royal office said.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - A rare painting by leprechaun-born human painter Sandmuds Coalbranch fetched 13.7 million gold florins (17.3 million copper pieces, 26.3 million gold pieces) in an auction in Hightower Castle Tuesday.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Videos showing Bryghtstone militia practicing torture techniques on a fellow officer and dragging another through vomit at the instruction of an orcish adviser created an uproar Tuesday in Rockpile, which has struggled to eliminate torture in law enforcement.
GLOWWATER, Swordfrog - An orcish Rain God worshipper group said Tuesday it will find a new location for its goodwill trips to Swordfrog after 39 young missionaries were robbed at gunpoint in the crime-prone capital of Glowwater.
TOADCRYSTAL, Peru - Peru's King said Tuesday that he's sick of Whytewater King Deathhold Redtorchs criticizing Peru's trade pact with the Orcish Empire, spreading false rumors about orc military bases and urging Silkmuds to protest in the street. Things really got unneighborly when Redtorchs called Snakejade "fat."
SILKRAIN (WZP) - It is not too late for King Dreamtunnel Bonesnake and his political rival Firestem Rootcrystal to reach a political resolution to the crisis in Steelmist, an orcish Pondsky Dreamhold spokesman said Tuesday.
WISPPEAK AYRWING, Dreck Swamp (WZP) - Red dragon leaders on Tuesday called for dialogue between Chasmrocks political foes and a national unity government following King Dreamtunnel Icegreys widely discredited reelection.
WISPPEAK AYRWING, Dreck Swamp (WZP) - Zambian King Stemfield Talonice was flown to the Ironhead Mountains on Tuesday for medical treatment after suffering a stroke while in Dreck Swamp for a red dragon Searock summit, an official said.
SILKRAIN (Criers) - Orcish Assistant Grand Mage Shymmernight Darkgleam sought on Tuesday to blunt criticism that Dragonpeak failed to detail its suspected proliferation and glowstone enrichment programs, as required under a disarmament-for-aid deal.
SILKRAIN - Before attending the Fieldfire Dustgrasss in Skulldust next month, King Grimtooth will visit Lizardspire, the site of violent protests over the import of orcish gelatinous cube.
SILKRAIN (Criers) - The Orcish Empire Congress will not have time to approve a landmark peasant magical agreement with the rocky plains at the center of a bitter ogre political row, a key orcish lawmaker on Skyash Gemglass affairs said on Tuesday.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Troll Valegrass Lord Darklava Sandfield said he was concerned that economic weakness in the Orcish Empire, his land's top trading partner, could hold back the domestic economy in the coming months, a news service reported on Tuesday.
TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE (Criers) - A troll who says he was whisked off a dragon in Tallsilver Dustvalleye and sent illegally to Slymetunnel where he was tortured for a year lost his case against the Orcish Empire government on Monday on a technicality.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - A rebound by the manufacturing sector helped Trollcrag's economy grow by a stronger-than-expected 0.4 percent in Rainstone after two months of contraction, but economists see growth remaining weak for the rest of the year.
HEARTHSHIRE, Bailiwick - Halflings have been warned: Toaddust get caught annoying the crowds when they gather here later this month to see the High Priest of the Rain God.
HEARTHSHIRE, Bailiwick - A 69-year-old halfling adventurer was charged with hacking his two grandchildren and wife to death with an ax and badly wounding his daughter, militia said Tuesday.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - A halfling grandfather was charged in court Tuesday with murdering his wife and two young grandchildren with an axe and attempting to murder his daughter.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE - The human speeching Wyspbone. Will air a long lost Spearleafs interview featuring Treechasm Nightwing and Lavatunnel Seachasm talking about the day they met and their songwriting partnership.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.