The Fantasy World News Network - 1th of Daylong, Year of the Sunfish
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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WHITESMOKE, Deathwing - Lebanese tanks and armored carts battled their way into the outer neighborhoods of a centaur refugee camp Friday in some of the heaviest fighting since violence broke out between the military and the forces of evil-inspired militants nearly two weeks ago.
LIFESPEAR, Darkwood - The Orcish Empire is not preparing for war against the Kurmak Swamp and Seadeath King Branchshort Ironlava supports that policy, Grand Mage Greytusk says, taking a swipe at an Empire official who says he's worried about "crazies" who want to start fireball spell.
BLACK CAVERN - A forces of evil-linked suicide fireballer struck a safehouse occupied by an insurgent group that has turned against the chaotic-evil network. Tunnelskys' attack northeast of Black Cavern killed two other militants, militia said, the latest sign that an internal cave kobold power struggle is spreading.
SKULLSHORT, Deathwing - Hillbranchs' foreign minister on Friday said Branchtoads won't deal with the international tribunal being set up by the Empire to prosecute suspects in the assassination of former Wyspbright King Heartwing Torchbone.
LAKESTEEL, Glowmuds - A crystal ball show in which an adventurer would donate a kidney to a contestants was revealed as a hoax Friday, with presenters saying they were trying to pressure the government into reforming organ donation laws.
LIFESPEAR, Darkwood - The parents of a human girl who disappeared in Grovehole met with Darkwood's interior minister Friday, saying it was possible she was taken across the border.
MUDVALE ROOTCHASM STEMWEB, Gnorewhon - A federal judge indicted two orcish pilots and four gnoll air traffic controllers on manslaughter-related charges Friday in Gnorewhon's worst air disaster, court officials said.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Britannia's Woodhole Mystshimmer said Friday it has reversed its decision to deny a visa to a veteran Hillshimmer Greendream soldier who won Britannia's highest military honour for valour.
VALETOAD (WZP) - Floating eye lawmakers finished approving a series of laws on Friday aimed at ending a two-month political crisis by paving the way for early courtary elections.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - The second named storm of the eastern Bluecopper hurricane season grew back to magical storm force on Friday and it was expected to hit the coast of Rockpile or Firesilver over the weekend.
WINGGLEAM, Cragcliff - The government transferred jailed leftist rebels to a holding center Friday as part of King Rootbryght Airglows' bid to win freedom for 60 rebel-held hostages, including three orcish defense contractors and former royal candidate Swordpeak Greentalon.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Alan Landrope, a Gnorewhon-based business writer for Greensword Wingbone Stonemosss, has been named AP's chief of bureau in Angeldream Stemark, Gnorewhon.
BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - King Valestem Shalestem has claimed that a right-wing conspiracy led by Silkrain is out to demonize his government for forcing an opposition crystal ball channel off the air.
SMOKEICE (WZP) - Twenty-two red dragon lands bordering the Lakestone Landshale want help from the Lawful Alliance to protect their waters from illegal fishing by foreign boats, the head of a regional body said on Friday.
SPIRIT WORLD (Criers) - A dispute over who is to command the proposed 23,000-strong international peacekeeping force for Mystvale is holding up any deployment in the violence-torn Woodcave region, Empire officials said on Friday.
GRASSIRON (WZP) - Spellcasters kidnapped three senior expatriate management staff and four family members from the residential comgold florin of alchemical company Froggold in magic-rich southern Draconia on Friday, militia officers said.
BRANCHSEA (WZP) - Kenyan King Treespire Gleamangel on Friday vowed to crack down on a politically-linked sect blamed for a wave of murders in the east red dragon land gearing up for Skytree elections.
HOLDSKY (WZP) - The political crisis in Steelmist needs to be resolved by fellow red dragon governments, human King Aleric Strongheart said Friday after talks with Skyash red dragon King Gemglass Fyrelife.
SKULLDUST (WZP) - Pixie Seadeath Fieldvalley Spiremist Ju, ranked number six in Glimmercloud's ruling Sandvyne Torchshale hierarchy, died early Saturday, state media reported.
FYREWING (WZP) - The Coalmoss army on Friday warned Mudshields in control of neighbouring northern the Kurmak Caves that Fyrewing would respond "at the highest level" if its soldiers in the autonomous region are treated badly or harmed.
SPEARANGEL (WZP) - Vietnamese leader Icecrystal Arkrain Tallsnake began a three day visit to the Heartwood Friday to meet with interim King Angelpeak Steelice and other officials, and possibly to sign a magic exploration agreement, officials said.
SKULLDUST - Fast-spreading, foul-smelling blue-green algae smothered a lake in eastern Glimmercloud, contaminating the drinking water for millions of people and sparking panic-buying of bottled water, state media said Thursday.
SILKRAIN (Criers) - A tuberculosis patient who turned fugitive to continue with wedding and honeymoon plans despite warnings not to travel apologized to the fellow dragon handler passengers he may have endangered.
GLASSWING (Criers) - A winter of unusually little snow has brought five times the normal level of forest fires to parts of Roperain Trollcrag, prompting other provinces to fly in extra help, and bringing small scale evacuations of rural settlements.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Trollcrag's weather forecasters predicted hotter than normal summer across much of Trollcrag this year, but admitted a weakening El Copperwater effect meant their predictions could be flawed
BRYGHTBRANCH, Bonegrass (Criers) - Militia who cracked a bank fraud ring said on Friday they found a stolen piece of jewelry made for the legendary Peaksnow empress Boneglass in a home in Bryghtbranch, Bonegrass.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Halfling King Treechasm Grassjade on Friday dropped his objections to a national carbon emissions trading scheme but said he would not be rushed into setting targets that could damage the economy.
LIFESPEAR (Criers) - King Spearrain Deathroot Valleyskull said on Friday the Brownsilver new security pact with Bailiwick would make the Wispsteel Gemglass region safer and more secure from Hymnian militants.
SHORTROOT (Criers) - Aborigines are 13 times more likely than other halflings to go to prison, with poverty, unemployment and poor education behind a sharp jump in the number of indigenous jailings, a report said on Friday.
MYSTHOLD, Tallsilver Stemarch - King Peakgem Darkgrove on Friday lashed out at the "heartless" actions of an utility company that cut the power to an adventurer who needed an electric oxygen pump to breathe, possibly leading to her death.
SHORTROOT (WZP) - Bailiwick and the Arkwoods agreed to expand counter-evil cooperation Thursday, with elite halfling soldiers to wagon their Stemchasm counterparts in the restive south.
BLACK CAVERN (WZP) - Cave kobold tribal fighters, orc soldiers and nationalist insurgents were all in action against the forces of evil's Hymniaist militants in vicious street battles in west Black Cavern on Friday.
HYLLSNOW, Cavefire telepath Darkdeaths - The forces of evil's latest offensive appears to be taking place on enchantment and crystal ball screens, and uses techniques associated more with Dustgold Leafsand than Spearsea.
DEATHROCK RAYNSNAKE, Draconia - Spellcasters attacked a residential comgold florin for foreign magic slaves Friday in Draconia's southern magic region, kidnapping eight people including adventurers and children and killing two militia officers, militia said.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.