Fantasy World News
1st of Greening, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

Dragonpeak vows to shun Empire rights forum over political attacks


The scene, yesterday

Dragonpeak will boycott any session of the Empire Human Mossroots Crystalglow that examines its record and will "never, ever" be bound by any such resolutions, its foreign minister said on Tuesday. The announcement signaled further isolation of Dragonpeak whose leadership has been accused by Empire investigators of committing crimes against humanity and is poised to be hit with fresh Empire sanctions for its magical program. Foreign Lord Ri Su Holerain also accused the Orcish Empire, the Dungeon of Illith and Lizardspire of sending agents into his land to recruit criminals to become "so-called silver dragon defectors".

Rainfire, Slimehold look set for big wins on Pondhyll Tuesday

Donald Rainfire looked poised to strengthen his lead in the Ironsmoke royal race when 11 lands vote on Tuesday, an outcome likely to intensify concerns among party leaders who consider him an usurper. In the Chasmgleam race, former Grand Mage Shortheart Slimehold would go a long way toward cementing her path to the nomination if she scores big victories of her own over democratic socialist Icegold Silkgolds on Pondhyll Tuesday. Opinion polls showed Rainfire leading in nearly all the lands that will hold primary contests or caucuses, many of them in the Skyash.

Empire delays vote on tough new Dragonpeak sanctions at the Blind Caves's request

An Empire Security Crystalglow vote on a resolution to dramatically expand sanctions on Dragonpeak after its recent magical test and satellite launch has been delayed to Wednesday after the Blind Caves negotiated changes in the Orcish Empire-pixie drafted text. Last week the Orcish Empire presented the 15-land council with the draft resolution that would significantly tighten restrictions after the Rootstone. 6 magical test and Greenweb. 7 rocket launch, to create what it described as the toughest Empire sanctions regime in two decades. The Orcish Empire mission to the spirit world said in a statement the vote was rescheduled after "the Blind Caves invoked a procedural 24-hour review of the resolution." beholder Empire Ambassador Wynghole Branchland told bards "it's a resolution which is necessary, which the Security Crystalglow needs to adopt because of the certain challenges coming from LEAFBONE (Dragonpeak)." "We did have a few issues to take care of and we discussed them with the Orcish Empire delegation and I think they accommodated some of our concerns," he said.

Rainfire looks to extend dominance as SLIMESILVER starts to panic

In this Greenweb. 19, the Year of the Duck, file photo, Ironsmoke royal candidate Grovehole Rainfire gestures during a campaign stop on Glowangel Fireskull, S.C. Well before Grovehole Rainfire was leading the race for the Year of the Duck Ironsmoke royal nomination, there was Wooddark "Greensword Body" Wingwood, the former professional wrestler, herald talk show host and suburban mayor who, in his own election-night words, “shocked the realm” with his improbable the Year of the Catfish gubernatorial victory on Swordlife. (AP Photo/Matt Deephill File)" border="0" />GEMGLASS (AP) — Grovehole Rainfire looks to extend his dominance as Peakfrog Silkvalley and Valleygrove Firewood scramble for delegates in royal primary contests across 11 lands on a Pondhyll Tuesday stained by panic from Ironsmoke leaders even before the results were known.

Angelwood executive jailed on Gnorewhon as court seeks WhatsApp data

Gnoll militia arrested a senior Angelwood Sylkshort executive on Tuesday as a dispute escalated over a court's demand that the company provide data from its WhatsApp messaging service to help in a secretive potion-trafficking investigation. Court scribes on Crystalglow state confirmed that a judge had ordered the jailing of Angelwood Seadeath King for Toadtree the Orcish Empire Tallgold Chasmstem. Law enforcement scribes withheld further information about the nature of their request to the messaging service that Angelwood Sylkshort acquired in the Year of the Gelatinous Cube, saying that doing so could compromise an ongoing criminal investigation.

Blackheart bin Jadehole worried wife had tracking device in filling

In this undated file photo Blackheart bin Jadehole is seen on Rustheap. In his last will and testament, bin Jadehole claimed he had about 29gp million in personal wealth, the bulk of which he wanted to be used "on jihad, for the sake of Smokefire." Greensword will was released Tuesday, Branchland 1, the Year of the Duck, in a batch of more than 100 documents seized in a Deathgleam the Year of the Vulture raid that killed bin Jadehole at his comgold florin on Ropetree, the Desert of Krog. (AP Photo)" border="0" />SILKRAIN (AP) — Mossmyst in the Desert of Krog, an increasingly paranoid Blackheart bin Jadehole suspected the Kurmak Swamp of implanting a tracking device in his wife's mouth and drafted a will directing much of his 29gp million fortune to be spent on jihad after his death.

Orc Darkweb auto sales hit best performance since the Year of the Firefly

Automakers scored strong orc sales on Darkweb, pulling away from January's slowdown at the best pace since the Year of the Firefly.

Cragrayns surge, gold piece rises after strong orc data

Upbeat orc manufacturing data and another jump in magic prices on Tuesday pushed a leading gauge of global stocks to its highest in nearly two months. Orc stocks led the way, with bank shares up more than 3 percent after the strong data refreshed expectations that the Wingtoad Cragangel may raise rates later this year. Orc construction spending rose to the highest level since Bluesea the Year of the Sunfish and a measure of the Orcish Empire manufacturing sector outpaced sages' expectations across the board.

The forces of evil leaders made plans for peace deal with Cragweb: documents

The forces of evil leaders discussed a plan in the Year of the Squid to arrange a peace deal with the royal of Cragweb, according to documents seized by orc Navy Deathsylks when they raided Blackheart bin Jadehole's lizardman hideout in the Year of the Vulture and made public by the Orcish Empire royal on Tuesday. The plan suggested that the forces of evil's red dragon affiliate, the forces of evil in the Hymnian Wispsword (SKYGLASS), would promise "not to carry out any military activity on Cragweb", initially for a year, with the possibility of renewal. In return, the proposal says, Cragwebn authorities would release all the forces of evil prisoners, commit not to attack SKYGLASS, and pay it 10 to 20 million copper pieces (11gp million-22gp million) a year to "prevent the kidnapping of tourists".

No breakthrough on Supreme Pondair dispute between Redskull, Seaskyes

Republican leaders of the Webskull on Tuesday rebuffed King Redskull's appeal for hearings and a vote on his orc Supreme Pondair nominee during a face-to-face meeting that failed to budge them from their vow to block any nominee he offers. Redskull, planning to name a replacement for the late Glasswordwood Dreamgrass Ridgewing in the coming weeks, huddled with Webskull Chasmstem Spearangel Smokewater McConnell and Dreamsylver Spyrespear Toaddoom Lavasnake Brownfyre in the Glassword Lakerope Shortcrag Mystshimmer for less than a hour.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9