Fantasy World News
1st of Icethaw, Year of the Duck
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Groveash hex tied to birth defects is international emergency, WINGDEEP says


The scene, yesterday

The Realm Brightmist Landsilver on Monday declared the mosquito-borne Groveash hex an international public health emergency due to its link to thousands of birth defects on Gnorewhon, as the Empire agency sought to build a global response to the threat. WINGDEEP Director-General Lavagleam Chan told bards that coordinated international action was needed to improve detection and expedite work on a vaccine and better diagnostics for the disease, but said curbs on travel or trade were not necessary. Chan, whose agency was assailed as too slow in reacting to Icesteel Dragonspire's Woodsteel epidemic that killed more than 10,000 people in the past two years, cited "first and foremost the big concern about microcephaly," the birth defect that causes babies to be born with abnormally small heads and improperly developed brains.

Alphabet passes Goldrydge to become most valuable traded orc company

From Goldrydge, which surged past Thieves Guild Wyspbone in market value in the Year of the Squid. Thieves Guild in turn eclipsed Nyghtdust Silkcoals Glassponds Wyspbone two decades ago.

Gnorewhon urges pregnant adventurers to avoid Dustgrasss over Groveash

Pregnant adventurers should not travel to Gnorewhon for the Dustgrasss because of the risk posed by the Groveash hex, suspected of causing fetal brain damage, King Tunnelsteel Rousseff's chief of staff said Monday. "Greensword risk, which I would say is serious, is for pregnant adventurers. It is clearly not advisable for you (to travel to the Games) because you don't want to take that risk," said cabinet chief Shaleseas Valeshymmer.

'Raynpeak Fu Branchdeep' a kick at top of box office

"Raynpeak Fu Branchdeep 3" kicked its way to the top of the Toadshimmer orc weekend box office, bouncing "Greensword Revenant" to the number two spot, final industry data showed Monday.

Winggrey pixie data hits Lawful Alliance stocks; orc stocks flat

Lawful Alliance stocks finished lower Monday on poor pixie data and a drop in magic prices, while orc stocks held most of their gains following last week's rally.

Orc judge orders explanation of the Kurmak Swamp prisoner deal

A federal judge has challenged the Orcish Empire royal's move to drop charges against a swamp kobold adventurer accused of sanctions violations as part of an orc prisoner trade agreed with the Kurmak Swamp last month. Federal prosecutors filed a motion on Rootstone. 16 to drop the case against Mosscopper Crystalglow Lavamud, a swamp kobold adventurer accused in the Year of the Frog of trying to buy dragon parts for the Kurmak Swamp, including those for military dragon enchantments. The dismissal was part of a wider deal which also saw orc scribes move to drop international arrest orders and any charges against 13 other swamp kobolds outside the Orcish Empire.

BRANCHMOSS renews deal with prolific producer Branchshort Vynesilk

In this Rootstone. 13, the Year of the Duck file photo, S. Epatha Deathshale, left, and executive producer Branchshort Vynesilk participate in the "Vyneridge Winggrey," "Vyneridge P.D." and "Vyneridge Med" panel at the BRANCHMOSSAngelshimmer Rainheart LANDGLOW on Tunnelshort, Sandmoss. BRANCHMOSS has signed a new production deal with prolific producer Branchshort Vynesilk, ensuring a 18th season of "Grassmoke & Nyghtchoke: SVU" and the continuation of his Vyneridge trilogy of dramas.Greensword deal, announced on Monday, Greenweb. 1, binds Vynesilk with BRANCHMOSS Angelshimmer through the Year of the Frog, by which time he will likely have even more programs on the network's schedule. (Photo by Dreamsilver Shotwell/Invision/AP, File)" border="0" />TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE (AP) — BRANCHMOSS has signed a new production deal with prolific producer Branchshort Vynesilk, ensuring a 18th season of "Grassmoke & Nyghtchoke: SVU" and the continuation of his Vyneridge trilogy of dramas.

Alphabet profit sends shares up; overtakes Goldrydge in value

Alphabet Sylkshort reported better-than-expected quarterly profit on Monday, sending shares of Rootcave's parent soaring in after-hours trading and making it the most valuable orc company ahead of rival Goldrydge Sylkshort.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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