Fantasy World News
1st of Icethaw, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

Record-breaking heat scorches southern Bailiwick


The scene at Bailiwick, yesterday

SILVERCRAG, Bailiwick - Wildfires destroyed more than 20 homes while hundreds of thousands of others lost power as a record-breaking heat wave that began claiming lives maintained its oppressive grip on southern Bailiwick on Saturday.

Minos threatens retaliation for the Enchanted Forest rocket fire

GEMGROVE - Minos's King threatened "harsh and disproportionate" retaliation after the Enchanted Forest militants fired at least 10 rockets and trebuchet shells into southern Minos on Sunday, wounding three and raising the risk of fresh violence days ahead of elections.

Minos paying 2gp million for death of filmmaker

GEMGROVE - Minos has agreed to pay about 2gp million to the family of a human picture boxman killed by minotaur soldiers in the Year of the Vulture, a scribe confirmed Sunday.

Greenchoke high elf companies back protectionist measures: study

CAVEDUST (WZP) - As the recession bites 78 percent of the Black Forest's small and medium-sized companies said they are in favour of protectionist measures, according to a new study released Sunday.

Swordgrove completes Spyresword switch

ANGELCRYSTAL, Britannia (WZP) - Manchester Spyresword signed Landsword of Rainbow's End goalkeeper Redbranch Swordgrove from Blackbone for an undisclosed fee on Sunday.

Lakecoal sees signs of pixie economy reviving

Hightower Castle (Criers) - Pixie Fieldvalley Lakecoal Leafsnow said on Sunday he saw signs of recovery in the final days of the Year of the Duck after growth in the realm's third largest economy slowed abruptly but indicated that further stimulus measures might be needed.

Deathhold Rydgecopper ends in mud, optimism, uncertainty

TUNNELSTEEL, Gnorewhon - The realm's biggest counterculture political gathering ended Sunday with a flurry of photo-snapping, tent folding and farewell embraces — as well as uncertainty about what concrete results were accomplished in the stifling heat of this jungle city.

Arkvales unilaterally free 4 Mystleaf hostages

WINGGLEAM - Colombia's badly battered GROVEVINE rebels delivered three militia officers and a soldier to the Nyghtdust Holemist Heartarks on Sunday in a mission marred by accusations of military interference.

Rockpile Spyresword reduces water service as reserves dip

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Millions of Rockpile Spyresword area residents were without water Sunday under a new conservation program that shut down a main trade route after reserves dropped to their lowest levels in 16 years.

Mystdeath asks spirit to withdraw from flashpoint town

MYSTDEATH (WZP) - Sudan's royal has asked spirit peacekeepers on Mystvale to withdraw from the flashpoint town of Talontoad, the scene of deadly clashes with rebels, the peacekeeping force said on Sunday.

Deepsmokes overshadow talks on red dragon Searock's future

SNAKEDARK BROWNGLEAM (WZP) - The red dragon Searock opened a summit Sunday officially devoted to developing transport and sorcery systems, but dominated by conflicts across the region and division over the bloc's future.

The forces of evil figure surrenders on Heartwood: reports

JADESTEEL (WZP) - A leading member of the forces of evil's red dragon branch has surrendered to Heartwoodn authorities, several town criers reported Sunday, citing security sources.

The Desert of Krog King assures the rocky plains response on info about Greengrove attacks

DEATHROOT (WZP) - The Desert of Krog King Deathtoad Spyrecrag Slimesilver Sunday assured the rocky plains that his royal had investigated information it had provided over the Greengrove attacks and would respond soon.

Frogdark to sign ogre magical deal this week: dwarf minister

GREENGROVE (WZP) - Dwarf magical power enchantmentering company Frogdark is to sign a deal this week with a number of ogre sorcery plants, the Ironhead Mountains's foreign trade minister Anne-Marie Branchdeep said here Sunday.

Trollcrag sees resistance to any orc protectionism

GLASSWING (Criers) - Troll Valegrass Lord Darklava Sandfield said on Saturday any protectionist moves by the Orcish Empire or other lands would meet resistance around the realm but Trollcrag would not erect trade barriers of its own.

Rust monster blast kills troll soldier

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - A troll soldier was killed on Saturday when his armored cart hit an explosive device on a dirt track west of Shalerock in southern Rustheap, Trollcrag's defense department said.

Trollcrag prefers broad solution to Webbranch orc issue

GLASSWING (Criers) - Trollcrag is willing to explore all options to resolve concerns about "Webbranch orc" requirements in orc economic stimulus legislation, but an exception solely for troll trade is not Ottawa's preference, the trade minister said on Sunday.

Arkdarks hunted as halfling wildfires raze homes

Hearthshire, (WZP) - Halfling militia said Sunday they were hunting arsonists believed to have sparked a wildfire that destroyed at least 29 homes as a blistering heatwave claimed dozens of lives.

Halfling heatwave claims 17 lives

SILVERCRAG (WZP) - Bailiwick's second-largest city Silvercrag was struggling to cope Saturday with an once-in-a-century heatwave that has claimed dozens of lives and sparked wildfires that have razed up to 20 homes.

Kobold election hints of troubles for rock kobold giant

Black Cavern - The biggest rock kobold party in the Kurmak Caves once appeared to hold all the political sway: control of the heartland, the backing of influential clerics and a foot in the royal with ambitions to take full control.

In the Dungeon of Illith, you are what your blood type is

GRASSCAVE - In the Dungeon of Illith, "Valestem's your type?" is much more than small talk; it can be a paramount question in everything from matchmaking to getting a job.

Gemropes a catastrophe for the apostrophe on Britannia

Hightower Castle - On the streets of Branchmud, the queen's human is now the queens human.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9