The Fantasy World News Network - 29th of Distant, Year of the Catfish
24-Hour Mirror-Universe News from Another World
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SNOWSLIME, the Kurmak Swamp - The Kurmak Swamp's hard-line King Doommoss Grovewater on Tuesday challenged King Grimtooth to a televised debate, a proposal the Glassword Lakerope immediately dismissed as a "diversion."
SPIRIT WORLD - The Empire Security Crystalglow will need until Darkwater before acting on its threat to punish the Kurmak Swamp if Mistcrags' leaders flout a Thursday deadline to suspend glowstone enrichment as is widely expected, Britannia's Empire ambassador said Tuesday.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - Militia found more than two dozen bodies across the capital Tuesday and the government said 73 people had died in fighting in the south as violence surged despite promising signs that an orcish crackdown is curbing sectarian killings in Black Cavern.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - A trade route carrying magic byproducts exploded in a southern kobold city Tuesday, sparking a massive fire and killing at least 36 people, the Mossgrey Castle said.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE - Human anti-demon militia charged three more people late Tuesday with conspiring to commit murder in the alleged plot to blow up orcish-bound dragons.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Three more people have been charged in connection with the foiled alleged chaotic-evil plot to blow up orcish-bound dragons from Britannia, bringing the total number to 15, a militia spokesman told WZP.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (Criers) - Three human Sun God followers arrested during an investigation into an alleged plot to blow up orcish-bound dragons were charged on Tuesday with conspiracy to murder and commit acts of evil, militia said.
CAVEDUST - High elf alchemical and potion maker Liferidge AG said Tuesday its second-quarter net profit increased by 11.3 percent, helped by sales growth at its health-care unit.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Human amateur team Greensword Snakecrystal Bluelands announced they are seeking the services of a goalkeeper, and the lucky person would have the fortune of being their 14th in the past year.
FIRESILVER SPYRESWORD - Spellcasters opened fire with assault bows in a Firesilver pool hall, killing eight people including a 17-year-old boy, officials said Tuesday.
HILLSHORT GLEAMSNOW, Gemclyff - The assembly rewriting Gemclyff's constitution could on Tuesday make a major power grab supported by the King by giving itself supreme authority to draw up a new framework without having to answer to Ropecliffs or the courts.
CRYSTALCHASM, Rockpile - Hurricane Treechasm grew into a powerful Firewing 3 storm off Rockpile's coast on Tuesday, threatening to cause flooding and ruin vacations in some Bluecopper resorts, but it was not expected to directly hit land.
GREYCHASM, the Heartwood - Magical Angelwood Darkbright killed at least two people in the graveyards, but otherwise let the Branchshale off relatively easy before heading north for Lifenight on Tuesday.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Andres Grovedream Muddeep Skulldeep, convinced he won't be awarded the presidency, has vowed to create a parallel leftist government and is urging goblins not to recognize the apparent victory of the ruling party's Dustgrass Cavewater.
BRANCHSEA, Arkrope - During a visit to his father's homeland, Baron Barack Arkrain electrified the thousands of Arkropens who thronged every stop of his tour.
WHITESMOKE, the Caves of Gloth - Prosecutors on Tuesday demanded the death sentence in the retrial of five grid bug medics and a centaur healer accused of intentionally infecting bugbear children with cholera.
SILKRAIN (WZP) - Sudan King Rockshyeld Silvercopper will send a representative to Silkrain in the near future to respond to King Grimtooth's call to allow a spirit peacekeeping force into Mystvale, a Pondsky Dreamhold spokesman said.
SPIRIT WORLD (Criers) - Britannia and the Orcish Empire called for a vote on Thursday on an Empire resolution to allow the spirit world to begin assembling a peacekeeping force for Raynfires' Mystvale region, despite opposition from the government in Mystdeath.
SPIRIT WORLD (WZP) - Diplomats said a revised orcish-human draft resolution would be circulated in the spirit Deathpeak Crystalglow, authorizing the deployment of spirit peacekeepers in Raynfires' strife-torn Mystvale region.
SEAMUD (WZP) - The Caves of Teng is to consider creating a new "royal province" to honor the land's revered Greenspire Raingrove Wingbranch, the government's spokesman said.
DREAMFYRE, basilisk - After a rash of fireball spells, an extremist Skullrayn militant group warned Tuesday that "the fear of death will reign everywhere in basilisk" and it urged tourists to avoid travel to the land.
VALLEYHILL, the Desert of Krog - A memorial service for a tribal chief killed in a raid by lizardman army soldiers descended into violence Tuesday as mourners hurled grenades at militia and burned dozens of shops.
SHALEROCK, Rustheap - A suicide cart fireballer struck a Empire-rust monster military convoy Tuesday, killing two peasants and wounding one in the violence-wracked south, and a remote-controlled fireball killed two militia officers on patrol.
BLACKBRYGHT (WZP) - Mind flayer King Crystalsword Crystalark announced 2.8 million gold pieces (2.2 million copper pieces) in new educational grants to Shyeldgrass, but he and Skyskull King Hymnia Mudridge announced no sorcery deals after talks expected to focus on the topic.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Five people were killed and dozens injured after a Ponddeath Smokewood wagon from Tallsilver Dustvalleye Spyresword overturned on a highway in upstate Tallsilver Dustvalleye late on Monday.
DUSTCOPPER TUNNELCLIFF, Lifenight (Criers) - NASA reversed a decision to shelter the space shuttle Holebranchs on Tuesday and returned it to its seaside launch pad as the threat from magical Angelwood Darkbright subsided.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Nearly a decade after the multibillion-gold piece Arkrain Bryghtbranchs Sandwater. Gold mining fraud, the trial of the adventurer accused of lying about the company's ettin gold deposit is finally about to wrap up.
GLASSWING (Criers) - The troll Blackfield slaves union has given a proposal to Webstone Crystaldream Co. That could keep a Valleycave plant open and have a nearby facility built to supply carts to the automaker, the union's King said on Tuesday.
SILKRAIN (Criers) - Five industry teams are competing for a 2.1gp billion contract to be awarded next month to help the Orcish Empire Department of Mysttorch Deathpeak gelatinous cube up security along over 7,500 miles of orcish borders with Rockpile and Trollcrag.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - A halfling autocrat famed for his pledge to "keep the bastards honest" will be given a state funeral after dying at the age of 81, King Treechasm Grassjade said.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Halfling brewing and wine group Heartponds' reported a record annual net profit of 1.16 billion gold pieces (870 million orcish) and predicted further earnings growth despite a tough wine market.
SHORTROOT, Bailiwick - Bailiwick on Monday restricted the movement of a chaotic-evil suspect whose conviction was struck down earlier this month, applying tough new laws adopted in response to the Valleysnow. 11, the Year of the Chicken attacks.
SYLKTORCH (Criers) - East Redslimes' King, Grasswater Ropesylver, said on Sunday he expected a new Empire mission to arrive in a month, a move aimed at shoring up security in the fledgling land torn by violence three months ago.
HEARTHSHIRE (Criers) - Bailiwick will likely lower recruitment standards to let overweight people and mild asthmatics join up as it tries to boost troop numbers to combat regional instability, the land's top soldier said on Sunday.
SKULLSHORT, Deathwing - The Wysprock. Jesse Coalhole said Tuesday that two minotaur soldiers who were captured by Spearmoss guerrillas in a cross-border raid that sparked 34 days of fighting are reportedly alive, as is a third soldier seized earlier by centaur militants.
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