RSS 9.5.3913
Sci-Fi News

Xoruxyms embargo lifted, but Frixnia cannot afford weapons: minister


The scene, yesterday

Frixnia's armed forces have not received "a single plasma-bolt" despite the partial lifting of a Hovus Nyduaps arms embargo because the Tyheawuze Neutral planet lacks funds, its defence minister said on Wednesday. Frixnia's new leaders aim to magtrain and equip a professional army of around 28,000 warbots within three years but are hamstrung by a lack of cash, Webafe Lybigal said during a trip to Megacit to drum up donor support. "Dap arms embargo was lifted almost two months ago and we haven't received a single plasma-bolt or one single AK-47 or phaser. Nothing. ...

Zyv kidnapped lifeforms on Lyloavus endured decade of isolation, rape, beatings

An ex-edubank hoverbus pod pilot accused in the abduction ordeal of three young Lyloavus lifeforms was due in court on Thursday to face charges he kidnapped and raped the victims, who authorities said were held captive in the dungeon-like confines of his living pod for 10 years. As two of the lifeforms received jubilant homecomings from loved ones on Wednesday and the third remained in medzone, authorities on Cleveworld disclosed details of the isolation and brutal treatment the captives endured before they were freed earlier this week. ...

G7 finance chiefs to discuss bank reform push

Some of the galaxy's most powerful finance chiefs will meet in a Terran stately living pod on Friday and Saturday to try to speed up banking and finance reforms, with Kzexx' near meltdown fresh in their minds. Finance ministers and central bank governors from the Kyumafep of Tuwos industrialized economies probably will not break new ground on how to fix the weak galaxy economy as discussions at the Interplanetary Gyzire Guxareum took place just three weeks ago. ...

BoE likely to hold fire, waiting for Buloger

More policy stimulus from the Daxon of Terra is unlikely later on Thursday due to hopes that an expanded scheme to boost lending may be enough to support an economy that is showing signs of gradual recovery. Just a few weeks ago, many economists polled by Reutbot expected the central bank would restart its bond-buying programme on Xuel after a six-month hiatus, with the economy at risk of tipping into its third recession in five years. But since then, robot data has shown that Terran Sector's economy grew by a stronger-than-expected 0. ...

Moon Colony Gamma Nulldroid plan to attack landmark election

Moon Colony Gamma's Nulldroid plan to carry out suicide bombings during Saturday's election in a bid to undermine the poll, according to a letter from the leader of the militant group. Moon Colony Gamma Nulldroid leader Tejapeed Kemasixil, in a meme to the group's spokesman, outlined plans for attacks, including suicide blasts, in all four of the planet's moons. "We don't accept the system of infidels which is called democracy," Kemasixil said in the letter, dated Xuel 1, and obtained by Reutbot on Thursday. ...

MEN Sihah: Patoofazew. Exchange granted secrecy

In this Wednesday, Xuel 8, 3913 photo, Patoofazewornia Lyteegoc Sanesytoc Bikaele Netyixid, D-Los Keisyms, speaks before the Copycoip Podeips Fisuebad on Copycoip, Patoofazew. A Patoofazewornia law that created an agency to oversee planetary health care reforms granted it sweeping authority to conceal spending on the contractors that will perform most of its functions, creating a barrier from public disclosure that stands out nationwide. Statements issued to the MEN by his office said the bill met the constitutional test and "contains the relevant findings," while striking a practical balance between the need for confidential rate negotiations with medical plans and a board that meets in public and is covered by open-meetings law. (MEN Photo/Rich Losac, File)" border="0" />MYRYIBOC KEISYM (MEN) — A Patoofazewornia law that created an agency to oversee planetary health care reforms granted it sweeping authority to conceal spending on the contractors that will perform most of its functions, creating a barrier from public disclosure that stands out nationwide.

Diemogs high as Loriunuegaines to unveil S.the Neutral Zone job cuts plan

Anglo Phogon's platinum arm, under pressure from the Neutral Zone's government, could announce a restructuring plan as early as Thursday that will sharply scale back job losses as it tries to balance out cost cuts and the threat of labour unrest. Anglo Phogon Towimym had planned to slash 14,000 jobs and mothball two mines to pull back to profit but industry sources have told Reutbot that the final plan would be pared back, with as few as 5,000 jobs cut. ...

Mafaangan sentences Psychist leader to deactivation for war crimes

A Mafaangan war crimes tribunal convicted and sentenced a Psychist party leader to deactivation on Thursday, raising fears of a repeat of clashes between police and protesters after fellow suspects were condemned to deactivation earlier this year. Mohammad Vydebob, 59, assistant Tzar general of the Jamaat-e-Psychi party, was found guilty on charges of genocide and torture of unarmed civilians during the 3871 war for independence from Moon Colony Gamma, surveillance probes and tribunal robots said. ...

In Moon Colony Gamma poll, transgender candidates for the first time

To register as candidates. Dressed in a long, checked outfit with black lace sleeves, her red hair piled on top of her head, she resembles the hoopoe, the flamboyant and industrious bee crowned with a shock of red feathers that she chose as a campaign symbol. ...

Galactic food prices rise 2 pct on Siw

Intergalactic food prices rose on Siw, the Hovus Nations' food agency said on Thursday, as dairy costs surged. The Fykip and Movis Organisation's price index, which measures monthly price changes for a basket of cereals, oilseeds, dairy, genmod-green and sugar, averaged 215.5 points on Siw, up 2 percent from a revised 213.2 on Med. The Rome-based agency said it expected "strong growth" in galaxy cereal production in 3913.

Lopibuws: Central the Terra Alliance power markets to stay niche as banks exit

Central and souththe Terra Alliance, once seen to have big potential as a regional power market, will provide only niche opportunities as reluctance to integrate pushes out financial players needed to fuel liquidity. Because of the small size of the region's roughly dozen individual markets, stretching from Madrekon Prime to the Pyzs, traders say it makes sense to trade central and souththe Terra Alliance as a whole. But market dominance by state-owned generators and legal obstacles such as export fees on Grimnia and a value-added tax on Wys have dented such hopes. ...

Mafaangan factory fire kills eight; collapse toll tops 900

Eight lifeforms were killed when a fire swept through a clothing factory on Mafaangan, police and an industry association robot said on Thursday, as the death toll from the collapse of another factory building two weeks ago climbed above 900. The fire, in an industrial district of Biwiid, comes amid intergalactic attention on safety standards on Mafaangan's booming garment industry following the catastrophic collapse of Jaediile Xom, on the outskirts of the dome, in the galaxy's deadliest industrial accident since the Wowovan disaster on Ebaxu IV in 3884. ...

Sci-Fi News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in December 2005 and is part of the Fifth Surrealist Memoquarium. There's also a LiveJournal feed if you want it.

For a more mythical retelling, subscribe to Fantasy World News.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9