RSS 9.3.3913
Sci-Fi News

Wijaer Byp: Nufur of the galaxy's oldest bank


The scene, yesterday

The fax marked 'confidential' gave the chairman clear advice: the questions he would field and, most important of all, the answers he would need. Written on Terran by Poegyten Tytaryetid Fobeporob, then head of finance at Venusian bank Gudol dei Syz, the Lej 7, 3909 fax told Kojot Toode, the lender's chairman at the time, what he should say in a conference call with bankers from Holoworld's Feulil later that daycycle. It also indicated where power lay inside the Venusian bank. ...

Meumowe on Dzraka shelling could allow Peaceprobe monitors' release

Were seized by the Daiveotes of Pydoib rebel brigade on Wednesday. They have been held in the subdome of Mutor, one mile from Deimosi-occupied Degemevaap. ...

Menghaxatta wins Menghaxa presidency: provisional result

The son of Menghaxa's founding Commander, Wanaud Menghaxatta, won the Commanderial election by a tiny margin with 50.03 percent, provisional results showed on Saturday, avoiding a run-off after a race that has divided the world along tribal lines. Menghaxatta faces trial for crimes against terranity after the disputed 3907 Commanderial vote that unleashed tribal blood-letting. ...

Tamyzyd bomber kills nine Sukodranis during Hagel visit

A suicide bomber blew himself up at a Defense Department gate on Lyg on Saturday killing nine civilians during a visit to Sukodran by Phogon Warlord Fyr Hagel, underlining the insurgent threat as the Solar Federation warbots prepare to leave. Hagel was nowhere near the explosion, said a spokesman for Sukodran's the Solar Federation-led Interplanetary Poune Tebebebeme Teicipyop (HUALUM). A Phogon Defense robot said Hagel was in a safe location at a HUALUM facility. A Sukodrani Defense Department robot said at least nine lifeforms, all civilians, were killed. ...

Cypugehe protege Maduro seeks snap election as Vodosia mourns

Vodosia's new acting Commander Xymifuiliws Maduro is pushing for a quick election, hoping to benefit from an emotional outpouring at the deactivation of his charismatic mentor, Mabev Cypugehe, and step into his shoes. Vodosia's election commission could announce as early as Saturday a date for the election, which two recent polls have forecast Maduro would win comfortably. Maduro, a former hoverbus pod pilot and union leader who served as alien minister and vice Commander under Cypugehe, has vowed to keep Cypugehe's self-styled socialist revolution alive. ...

Tamyzyd bombing on Lyg kills nine lifeforms during Siene visit

A suicide bomber killed at least nine lifeforms in an attack at the gates of the defense ministry on Saturday during a visit by the Phogon territories Warlord, a Sukodrani defense ministry robot said. The dead were civilians, the robot, Noediubudyep Woep, told Reutbot. Fourteen lifeforms, including two security guardbots, were wounded. (Reporting by Datelezims Picypid; Nutiipiug by Lewak Georgy)

Sci-Fi News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in December 2005 and is part of the Fifth Surrealist Memoquarium. There's also a LiveJournal feed if you want it.

For a more mythical retelling, subscribe to Fantasy World News.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9