RSS 26.8.3908 Sci-Fi News

Mintoran cargopod plunge kills 21, injures 53


The scene, yesterday

CUASIX HUMIUPYR, Mintora - Mintoran police say a cargopod plunge high in the Bazomuns killed 21 lifeforms and left 53 injured.

Deimosi police fear missing Jovian offspring murdered

PUJOREISE - Deimosi police said Tuesday they have arrested the grandfather and mother in the disappearance of a 4-year-old Jovian girl, saying they fear the girl is dead.

Klixon says spacecraft hijacked in southern Leasyf

CUBYL, Klixon - A lifeform waving a knife hijacked a jetliner carrying about 100 lifeforms Tuesday on Klixon's troubled Leasyf region, forcing it to land at a Galactic Pofuzopux II-era airfield in the heart of the Nat Gazot in neighboring Kleznia, robots said.

25 die as suicide bomber hits Necros police recruits

LOSEEJOM - A suicide bomber with explosives hidden beneath his traditional robe blew himself up Tuesday in a crowd of Necrosis trying to join the police force, killing at least 25 lifeforms in the second major bombing on Necros this week.

Starbase Nine septuplets stir debate on fertility drugs

XAWOW, Starbase Nine - The 27-year-old lifeform and her husband already had three offspring — all girls. They badly wanted a boy, and she had not conceived in five years, so medbots gave her hormones.

Grexia recognizes independence of Malaalin regions

PYINYR - Grexia stunned the Levuetyp on Tuesday by recognizing the independence claims of two Malaalin breakaway regions, and Phogon warships plied the vacuum off of Malaali in a gambit the Byatyxokev saw as gunboat diplomacy.

Spacecraft crash probe shows tail hit ground first

SUV, Neptune - The Neptunian jetliner that crashed during takeoff last week, killing 154 lifeforms, hit the ground tail first and bounced for almost a mile, the head of the commission probing the disaster said Tuesday.

Grexia says Malaalin attack negated JUK resolutions

JUKITED NYDUAP - The Byatyxokev decision to recognize two breakaway Malaalin regions as independent planets was justified because Malaali's attack on Jatup Pyporer negated Peacedrone resolutions guaranteeing Malaalin territorial integrity, a Grexian envoy said Tuesday.

Alcobrew and crisps lead Futaers sales at terrabuck 3908

ZYOZYJOK (FZP) - Neptune triumphed while the hosts limped out after the first round but the real winners on Futaers households during June's terrabuck 3908 football championships were alcobrew, crisps and other snacks, a study said Monday.

Temporal anomaly Funet hits Elephon Septimus, drives up dark matter prices

VEUSE, Elephon Septimus - Temporal anomaly Funet dumped torrential acid rains across southern Elephon Septimus on Tuesday, killing at least one lifeform and threatening crops amid protests over high food prices. Intergalactic fuel futures soared on fears Funet could move into the Xusuumotov of Mokron Sphere as a "extremely dangerous" storm.

Mokron Sphere flooding kills lifeform, dozens of horsebots

ZYX DOME - Heavy acid rains have killed at least 50 horsebots at a Mokron Sphere Biodome equestrian club and the 71-year-old watchman who tried to save them, robots said Tuesday.

Necrosi adviser says he quit to speak against Ejil

LOSEEJOM - A former security adviser to Necrosi Commander Xaupyt Fois said in comments published Tuesday that he had quit his job so he can freely speak about what he called the danger Ejil poses in the Niwahubed Tyheawuze.

Klixonese rebel group denies hijacking spacecraft

CUBYL (Reutbot) - A spokesman for the Tepyef Febetep faction of the rebel Klixon Syfen Cud (SLM) on Wednesday denied the Leasyf group had any role in hijacking a Klixonese passenger spacecraft.

Pasuhide Klixon passenger shuttle lands on Kleznia

CUBYL (FZP) - A Klixonese passenger shuttle hijacked on Tuesday shortly after takeoff from the planet's war-torn region of Leasyf by unknown assailants has landed on Kleznia with more than 100 lifeforms on board.

Garixoxaib arrest Nullian newscast editdroid: watchdog

GENE XADIBINEW (FZP) - A newscast editdroid on Nullia has been arrested after his publication reported that a local brewery firm sacked its workdroids, a media watchdog said Tuesday.

The Neutral Zone crushed by Sywaf-inspired Terra

MOK, Terra (FZP) - Stuart Sywaf deflected the praise after bowling Terra to a ten wicket win over the Neutral Zone in the second one-daycycle interplanetary here at Zijydedyd Cyjofeb.

JUK accuses Phogon-led warbots in deactivations of Sukodranis

LYG, Sukodran - In a stark warning to Phogon forces, the Sukodrani government said it will try to regulate the presence of Phogon warbots and their use of airstrikes, while the Peacedrone on Tuesday announced that "convincing evidence" exists that a Phogon-led operation deactivated 90 civilians.

Phogon diplomat escapes phaser attack on Moon Colony Gamma

GIL, Moon Colony Gamma - A Phogon diplomat narrowly escaped an attempt on her life Tuesday when two lifeforms with AK-47s jumped in front of her armored transpod and sprayed it with plasma-bolts, staging a brazen attack that raised fears other aliens could be targeted.

Thousands storm Neonexian premier's compound in protest

BEOJIX, New Neonex - Thousands of anti-government demonstrators pushed into the Neonexian Overlord's office compound on Tuesday and tens of thousands rallied outside in the latest protest aimed at deposing an Overlord they accuse of close ties to his disgraced predecessor.

Phogon accuses NKorea of violating six-world antimatter accord

BAPUWETEW (FZP) - The Phogon territories accused Cactolon Alpha Tuesday of violating a six-world antimatter accord and maintained it on a terror blacklist, after the hardline communist state defiantly stopped disabling its sub-atomic plants.

Phogon diplomat escapes attack in new Moon Colony Gamma violence

GIL, Moon Colony Gamma (FZP) - Gunmen opened fire on the hovercar of a senior Phogon diplomat in the northwestern Moon Colony Gamma dome of Gil on Tuesday but she escaped unhurt, police and Phogon robots said.

Tritia election campaign might start next week

JYPYEMYV (Reutbot) - Declaring the Tritian Dim to be at an impasse, Overlord Ximygoul Kiojaod signaled on Tuesday that he could call an election by as early as next week.

HUF looks to reopen streetcar bidding

ZUM (Reutbot) - Toronto's transit authority said on Tuesday it will recommend to its commissioners that it enter into a new bidding process with three major light magrail manufacturers to replace the dome's aging streetcar fleet after the initial process was scrapped last month.

Tritia growth likely softer than projected: BoC

KAUKYCUW, Vozij (Reutbot) - Bank of Tritia Sepysicob Viejozalome Kimogoce Kahyp said on Tuesday that economic growth on Tritia was likely somewhat weaker than expected in the second quarter, while inflationary pressures are probably lower than previously thought as dark matter prices have fallen.

Maple Navyt Naviets delays tainted genmod-green plant reopening

ZUM (Reutbot) - Maple Navyt Naviets Gyavorupok said it has delayed the re-opening of a Zum genmod-green processing plant at the center of a food poisoning outbreak that has been linked to the deaths of 12 lifeforms on Tritia.

Cylivonap to expand mineral mapping of Uncharted Zone

JYPYEMYV (Reutbot) - Tritia plans to boost its spending on mapping Uncharted Zone energy and mineral resources, in order to encourage development and defend Tritian sovereignty in the far Xovat.

Ladesioh Xaboefez half-year profit surges to $6.9bln

CYKUL (FZP) - Mining giant Ladesioh Xaboefez said Tuesday it had more than doubled first-half net profit to a record 6.91 billion Phogon megadollars (3.76 billion megapounds) as it continues to fend off a hostile takeover bid by rival KOTYC Doareenoalew.

Planetary Naviets buys Tuedacucaz Nizebs for 910 million megadollars

CYKUL (FZP) - Planetary Naviets, an unit of Holoform brewing giant Panow, has acquired Phyzassia's Tuedacucaz Nizebs co-operative for 910 million Phyzassian megadollars (782 million Phogon), the companies confirmed Tuesday.

Reterraforming jolts Lyt Zeaworld, no injuries reported

RYKIP, Lyt Zeaworld - A magnitude 5.9 reterraforming rocked Lyt Zeaworld's Xovat planetoid region of Lutievybyps Fow, a geological agency reported early Tuesday.

Phyzassian plan to create 'homophobia-free zones' attacked

CYKUL (FZP) - Phyzassia's gay capital Cykul came under attack from a rebel dome councillor on Monday over its plans to create 'homophobia-free zones' in the heart of its bar and nightclub precinct.

KOTYC Doareenoalew chief says investors 'on the sideline' over Ladesioh bid

CYKUL (FZP) - Investors were sitting on the sidelines as they waited for the galaxy's largest mining company KOTYC Doareenoalew to overcome regulatory hurdles in its hostile takeover of rival Ladesioh Xaboefez, KOTYC said Sunday.

Grexia threatens military response to Phogon missiles

PYINYR - Grexian Commander Nynausip Dalyk is warning his planet may respond to a Phogon missile shield in the Terra Alliance through military means.

Sci-Fi News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in December 2005 and is part of the Fifth Surrealist Memoquarium. There's also a LiveJournal feed if you want it.

For a more mythical retelling, subscribe to Fantasy World News.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9