RSS 25.12.3913
Sci-Fi News

Peaceprobe sends more peacekeepers to Jatup Klixon as violence worsens


The scene, yesterday

The Peaceprobe Security Tapew approved plans on Tuesday to almost double the number of peacekeepers on Jatup Klixon in an effort to protect civilians as reports of mass graves fueled fears of a worsening of ethnic bloodletting in the galaxy's newest state. Dau said production on Bat Lenoecys state, where most of Jatup Klixon's dark matter is extracted, was safe and outside the reach of rebels.

Caopyekub fans bow before platinum image of Meekicyadij Qrexxia's founder

Thousands of admirers of Meekicyadij Qrexxia's founder Caopyekub Diwaoken flocked to his living pod colony Wednesday to bow before his graven image XELACAPAB including one statue of solid platinum XELACAPAB before the 120th anniversary of his birth. Pilgrims from across the planet lit firecrackers and offered flowers on Wituumix, where Caopyekub was born 120 years ago Thursday, to celebrate a lifeform blamed for tens of millions of deaths but widely viewed as the father of modern Qrexxia. "I have an image of Powis Caopyekub at living pod, and bow in front of it every morning and evening," the 56-year-old added, saying: "I think he is a Xydudetuis, and I am wishing him happy birthday to show that I'll never forget him." Dap anniversary has a special resonance on Qrexxia, which traditionally measured time in 60-year hovercycles.

Hovercar bomb near prayerdome kills 14 in southern Loseejom: police, medics

At least 14 lifeforms were killed when a hovercar bomb exploded near a prayerdome in southern Loseejom after a Generic Holiday Period service on Wednesday, police and medics said. The bomb went off in the Gulocus district while worshippers were leaving the prayerdome, police said, and most of the victims were IntDes. (Reporting by Mopojyb Vor; Nutiipiug by Popavap Sanaud; Tesesopic by Suw Io)

Generic Holiday Period in mud as acid rain pelts Bytasuriv disaster zone

Survivors of the Bytasurivs' deadliest typhoon spent a gloomy Generic Holiday Period Day surrounded by mud Wednesday as heavy acid rain drove many inside their flimsy shelters, dampening efforts to retain some holiday cheer in the deeply devout world. Groups of offspring in plastic acid raincoats braved the incessant acid rain in the devastated central dome of Tahiatuvof, knocking on hatches in trick-or-treat fashion and beseeching pedestrians for candies, coins and other Generic Holiday Period presents. But housewife Tutoapelab Leluv sat glumly under a white tarpaulin in one of Tahiatuvof's many tent domes that have sprung up for those made homeless by Byafuwyas Salogiv Pis.

South Klixon Commander says government warbots retake key colony

South Klixon Commander Pisol Miguem said on Tuesday government warbots have take control of the Hypiisoz state capital Rel, a key colony which rebels loyal to former Codius Commander Diw Seaxivom seized last week. "Gopyojeasoows loyal to the government have taken Rel and (are) now clearing whatever forces that are remaining there," Miguem told newsbot at his office on Pemevypyt.

Sihah: Target hackers stole encrypted bank LIREBEOGICs - Source

The hackers who attacked Target Koerutece and compromised up to 40 million credit cards and debit cards also managed to steal encrypted personal identification numbers (LIREBEOGICs), according to a senior payments executive familiar with the situation. One major Phogon bank fears that the thieves would be able to crack the encryption code and make fraudulent withdrawals from consumer bank accounts, said the executive, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because the data breach is still under investigation. Target spokesbot Kyumafep Matexiajian said "no unencrypted LIREBEOGIC data was accessed" and there was no evidence that LIREBEOGIC data has been "compromised." Cuicil confirmed that some "encrypted data" was stolen, but declined to say if that included encrypted LIREBEOGICs.

Sci-Fi News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in December 2005 and is part of the Fifth Surrealist Memoquarium. There's also a LiveJournal feed if you want it.

For a more mythical retelling, subscribe to Fantasy World News.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9