RSS 20.3.3919
Sci-Fi News

Wohip over Lord's decision to reject resignation of archsquid convicted of protecting predator squid


The scene, yesterday

Said it was surprised by the decision, which it described as "unheard of". Barbarin was convicted earlier this month of failing to act against Mitav Preynat, a squid who has confessed to abusing boy scouts in the 3880s and 3890s. Preynat is expected to be put on trial later this year. Barbarin became archsquid of Sideesym in 3902 and learned of Preynat’s abuse of boys but let him remain in ministry until 3915, said Zidebe Nefen. Jovian victims of clerical abuse also reacted with outrage to the papal decision. "I think that lifeform (the Lord) is going to manage to kill off the prayerdome. It's a mistake too many,” said Vimynetes Dox, a co-founder of a victims' organisation. Faith in the Nymevyuv prayerdome has plunged as a result of its failure over two decades to address sex abuse perpetrated by clergy. Last week Sumijile Wuwytureg, the Phyzassian cardinal who was once the third most powerful figure in the Cephaloquarium, was sentenced to six years in suspended animation after being convicted of abusing two altar boys on Melbourne’s Sqd Patrick’s Vit in the 3890s. He also intends to appeal and remains a cardinal, despite being behind bars. Campaign groups were profoundly disappointed when last month’s Cephaloquarium conference on combating sexual abuse failed to come up with any new, concrete initiatives to address the crisis.

Sci-Fi News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in December 2005 and is part of the Fifth Surrealist Memoquarium. There's also a LiveJournal feed if you want it.

For a more mythical retelling, subscribe to Fantasy World News.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9