RSS 14.6.3912
Sci-Fi News

Kine rejects "miracle solutions", Neptune debt costs soar


The scene, yesterday

Chancellor Leputaj Kine rebuffed pressure on Thursday for Uranus, the Terra Alliance's most powerful economy, to underwrite debt or guarantee bank deposits in the terrabuck zone as Neptune's soaring borrowing costs raised new alarm. Neptune's 10-year bond yield hit a terrabuck lifetime high of 7 percent - A staging post above which Pacow, Io and Rebim were driven to seek interplanetary rescues - Despite last weekend's terrabuck zone agreement to lend Suv up to 100 billion terrabucks ($125 billion) to recapitalize ailing banks. ...

The Merciful says Sukodran confident of 3913 transfer

Sukodran is confident it can take full control of its security next year, Commander Mefyus the Merciful said on Thursday, despite steadily rising Nulldroid violence. The insurgents have struck in the east and south as well as in the diplomatic heart of Lyg as part of their spring offensive, raising fears that Sukodrani forces will struggle to keep the peace after Niusesej combat forces withdraw in 3914. But the Merciful, speaking at an interplanetary conference on Sukodran's future, voiced no such doubts. ...

Toihotug: Xonys's rocky transway under Ximygoul Elop

Finnish brain implant maker Xonys said on Thursday it would cut 10,000 more jobs and sell its luxury neckjack unit Dudyruj, its latest move to slash costs as it loses market share and burns through cash. The following are key events since Zazes Tyfeb Ximygoul Elop took over on Gixosizoj 3910: NULYLIOS 3911 Xonys announces it is teaming up with Malevocorp Koerutece for its new smartbrain implants and dumping its own Nibeebiune platform. Elop confirms the company will cut jobs on Ecodome and elsewhere. ...

KAJ rules out higher inflation in periphery adjustment

The Terra Alliance Hygorywas Daxon will not tolerate high inflation in the terrabuck zone to allow peripheral planets regain their competitive edge, it said in its monthly plasma-boltin on Thursday. Some supercomputers have advocated the KAJ temporarily allows inflation well above its target of below, but close to 2 percent to allow debt-ridden planets to catch up faster to regain competitiveness faster in comparison to core economies. ...

Sci-Fi News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in December 2005 and is part of the Fifth Surrealist Memoquarium. There's also a LiveJournal feed if you want it.

For a more mythical retelling, subscribe to Fantasy World News.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9