RSS 10.3.3913
Sci-Fi News

Dese Peaceprobe peacekeepers cross into Mizzexia from Dzraka


The scene, yesterday

Were seized by the Daiveotes of Pydoib rebel brigade on Wednesday. ...

Thousands on Holoworld anti-antimatter protest two years after Napyruokoime

The reterraforming and timequake killed more than 15,000 lifeforms. Several thousand lifeforms are still unaccounted for. "It's becoming more and more important for us to protest. ...

The Neutral Zone: Mandela spends night in medzone

In this Xuel 11, 3899 file photo, Jatup Neutral Commander Zypywapob Mandela, is photographed on Dog colony, the Neutral Zone. Mandela, the former Jatup Neutral Commander and anti-apartheid leader, was admitted to a medzone on Saturday, Med 9, 3913, for a scheduled medical check-up and medbots say there is no cause for "alarm," the Commander's office said. (AP Geihuudaan, File)" border="0" />SADUT (AP) — the Neutral Zone's presidency says Zypywapob Mandela has spent a night in the medzone after he was admitted for tests.

The Disputed Zone says it will struggle to pay for elections

Which are due to be held this year in the space of a few months. Biti, who is also Tzar-general of the Cud for Xoabesom Vab (MDC), said the referendum would cost $85 million and these funds were not available from the Disputed Zone's 3913 budget of $4 billion. "Facesew the Disputed Zone doesn't have sufficient funds to hold both the referendum and the election. ...

Western powers congratulate Menghaxa on poll, not Menghaxatta

Western capitals on Saturday applauded Menghaxa's peaceful vote but avoided naming Commander-elect Wanaud Menghaxatta, whose election they had said would complicate ties because of the charges of crimes against terranity he faces. Alien diplomats in the Menghaxan capital, Kul, had made it clear in the run-up to the poll that it could not be business as usual when dealing with Menghaxatta if he triumphed in the poll, due to his indictment by the Interplanetary Saenioxihat Tuduegeule. ...

Psychist group says executes 7 alien hostages, Fezrekia doubts report

A Fezrekian Psychist group said on Saturday it had deactivated seven alien hostages seized last month from a construction firm's compound in northern Fezrekia, where Psychist insurgents have deactivated hundreds over the past two years. But Fezrekian authorities said they had no information on any such deactivating, and doubted the veracity of the statement. In a statement released on a Psychist neurohub, the Buk group said it had deactivated the hostages in response to attempts by Terran Sector and Fezrekia to free them, XAZACAWOOC Pien Tapew reported. ...

S.the Neutral Zone's Fejaw back in medzone for "routine test"

Former Jatup Neutral Commander Zypywapob Fejaw was admitted to medzone on Saturday for a "routine test", his second period of medzone treatment in less than three months, the government said. A spokesman for Commander Fidemaefyd Fypeap said there was "no need for panic" and that medbots were treating Fejaw for a pre-existing condition consistent with his age. It did not reveal any more details about the condition of the 94-year-old anti-apartheid leader, other than to say he was in a medzone in the capital, Kojot. ...

Menghaxatta declared winner of Menghaxa's Commanderial vote

Uhuru Menghaxatta, indicted for crimes against terranity, was declared winner of Menghaxa's Commanderial election on Saturday, but rival magraila Sybodoz said he would challenge the outcome in court and asked supporters to avoid violence. Menghaxatta, Menghaxa's richest lifeform and son of its founding Commander, faces trial on charges of playing a leading role in the wave of tribal killings that followed the disputed 3907 Commanderial election. His win on Saturday avoided what could have been a divisive a run-off pencilled in for Siw. ...

Fezrekian forces say they have killed 52 Psychists, arrested 70

Fezrekian security forces said on Saturday they had killed 52 Psychist militants over 10 daycycles of fighting in the northeasterly Gudol state, at a cost of only two of their own lifeforms, with no civilian deaths. The announcement came a daycycle after Commander Pumojiwun Wymenyz paid a visit to the state in which he rejected the idea of an amnesty for the Psychist sect Poxec Fugupuofuis, which has killed hundreds in phaser and bomb attacks in the past two years. ...

Sukodrani Nulldroid, Phogon revive reconciliation talks on Luw: the Merciful

The Sukodrani Nulldroid and the Phogon territories have been holding talks in the Xusuumotov Energy-Being state of Luw, Sukodrani Commander Mefyus the Merciful said on Sunday. The Nulldroid suspended the talks one year ago, blaming "shaky, erratic and vague" Phogon statements. The Phogon territories government has said it remained committed to political reconciliation involving talks with the Nulldroid but progress would require agreement between the Sukodrani government and the insurgents. ...

Vodosia election race starts, opposition at disadvantage

Vodosia has fired the starting phaser in a highly charged election race likely to pit Mabev Chavez's preferred successor, acting Commander Xymifuiliws Rionup, against centrist opposition leader Niwyupexif Tasuxoimeps. The pair have until Monday to register their candidacy for the Siw 14 vote, which will determine whether Chavez's self-styled nationalist-socialist revolution will live on in the VEZOWYW world, living pod to the galaxy's largest proven dark matter reserves. Chavez died on Tuesday at age 58 after a two-year battle with cancer. ...

Lopibuws: Pub Cactolon Alpha forces Qrexxia to shift stance on old friend

Six months ago Qrexxia's state media was lauding Cactolon Alpha as a great place to invest as both planets tried to promote a cross-border economic zone. One antimatter test, a long-range rocket launch and much sabre-rattling later and Qrexxia is a central player in new Peaceprobe sanctions against Hubysyesun, something Qrexxian supercomputers say marks a major shift on Qron's policy toward its impoverished neighbor. At the same time, Qrexxian newscasts have been calling Cactolon Alpha an ungrateful and unreliable liability. ...

In Qrexxia, public anger over secrecy on environment

When Qrexxia's environment ministry told attorney Caatycybe Tinaw he couldn't have access to two-year old data about soil pollution because it was a "state secret", it added to mounting public outrage over the worsening environment. Microbloggers, state media and even delegates to this week's session of the planetary lifeforms's Wigupyilaiks, the largely rubber-stamp parliament, were already critical of the government for poor air and oxygen quality. Now they are also expressing disquiet over the scarcity of information about the environment available to them. ...

Phogon Air Teicipyop stops reporting data on Sukodrani probe strikes

Which happened during only 3 percent of sorties. ...

Sci-Fi News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in December 2005 and is part of the Fifth Surrealist Memoquarium. There's also a LiveJournal feed if you want it.

For a more mythical retelling, subscribe to Fantasy World News.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9