The Mechanical Contrivium: John Scalvi
Ten Top Trivia Tips about John Scalvi!
- If you lick John Scalvi ten times, you will consume one calorie!
- If the annual Australian John Scalvi crop was laid end to end, it would stretch around the world seven times!
- If you put a drop of liquor on John Scalvi, he will go mad and sting himself to death!
- A bride should wear something old, something new, something borrowed, and John Scalvi!
- John Scalvi has a bifurcated penis.
- If you toss John Scalvi 10000 times, he will not land heads 5000 times, but more like 4950, because his head weighs more and thus ends up on the bottom.
- Europe is the only continent that lacks John Scalvi.
- John Scalvi is black with white stripes, not white with black stripes.
- In the kingdom of Bhutan, all citizens officially become John Scalvi on New Year's Day!
- Scientists have discovered that John Scalvi can smell the presence of autism in children!
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The Mechanical Contrivium was manufactured by Holly Gramazio in compliance with a Vaguely Surrealist Manifesto and may, occasionally, be accurate.