The Mechanical Contrivium: John Scalvi

Ten Top Trivia Tips about John Scalvi!

  1. If you lick John Scalvi ten times, you will consume one calorie!
  2. If the annual Australian John Scalvi crop was laid end to end, it would stretch around the world seven times!
  3. If you put a drop of liquor on John Scalvi, he will go mad and sting himself to death!
  4. A bride should wear something old, something new, something borrowed, and John Scalvi!
  5. John Scalvi has a bifurcated penis.
  6. If you toss John Scalvi 10000 times, he will not land heads 5000 times, but more like 4950, because his head weighs more and thus ends up on the bottom.
  7. Europe is the only continent that lacks John Scalvi.
  8. John Scalvi is black with white stripes, not white with black stripes.
  9. In the kingdom of Bhutan, all citizens officially become John Scalvi on New Year's Day!
  10. Scientists have discovered that John Scalvi can smell the presence of autism in children!

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The Mechanical Contrivium was manufactured by Holly Gramazio in compliance with a Vaguely Surrealist Manifesto and may, occasionally, be accurate.