RANSOM-NOTE
TELEVISION
LISTINGS

Non-spliced humour? Try the Other Listings Magazine.

Concept:
Graham Sadler

Contributors:
Kevan Davis
Graham Sadler

Sources:
Guardian Guide
Guardian Unlimited
Radio Times
et al

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9th January 2002
17.00 PRJ Giant Shrimping Follow a Shrimper through his daily routine, but beware of the horror of an angrey shrimp!	18.00 PRJ The Weakest Pink Watch this painting program, and follow along as our host Pierre Aurevoir introduces the magic of colors.
19.00 PRJ [FILM] Caulking Gun The story of a home handy man magically transported back to the Old West.	21.00 CK Wilde in the Garden Chat show in which the outspoken Kim Wilde designs and creates an Australian-themed garden for two sisters to remind them of a holiday Down Under.

8th January 2002
17.30 GS Eastroads The Slaters throw Kate and Mark, and Little Mo leads to a fierce shopping trip.	18.55 GS Party Political Food Broadcast By a delicious treacle sponge.
20.15 GS [FILM] When We Fight Another Rock Robert De Niro plays a small-time World Heavyweight unicorn with magical powers and features.	0:20 Pobol y Cwm (T) 1:00 Pages from Ceefax 2:00 Sport : Mobile Phone Spitting from Calcutta 3:00 Work Essentials : Socks (T) 3:40 Ivor the Engine (R) 4:00 Close 4:45 Local Weather (S) 5:00 Sport : Five-a-Side Air Golf Championships Live from Chichester (S)

7th January 2002
17.35 GS Sex Goals New series looking at the way sex shapes the weekend's soccer.	18.15 GS Praise All of the Summer Murder A terrible tragedy in which Wesley finishes his entire family in a gala concert at the Royal Albert Hall.
20.00 GS Police, Camera, Holiday! Police helicopters track a gang of masked ram-raiders as they team up for a golf tournament on the Greek island of Rhodes.	21.05 GS Jim Davidson's Falklands Game A selection of lucky contestants are put through the Falklands conflict.
23.50 GS [FILM] Raging Space Dragon A Hong Kong country boy reluctantly takes a cargo of killer robots on a visit to his middle-class family home.	0:15 Pages from Ceefax (S) 1:00 Close (S) 2:00 Pages from Ceefax (R) (S) 2:40 Open University : Intermediate Hammers (S) 3:00 Pages from Ceefax (T) 4:00 Sport : World-Cup Money Throwing Live from Rome 5:00 Learning Zone : Balloons Theory (S)

6th January 2002
14.00 KD [FILM] Carry On What's Love Got To Do With It? Solid biopic of Tina Turner, with contessas, pagan cults and Kenneth Connor.	18.45 GS FA Cup Hit Factory Files Portrait of the music producer serial killer preying on the country's oldest domestic cup competition.
20.30 GS American Heartbeat Team Blaketon is bowled over on a frantic dig near Mike Carlson.	20.30 KD Murder Most Argonauts New Series. Barry longs for prison life as he waits to stand on the man who killed his raincoat. With David Rasche, Sardinian Mafia.
22.00 KD [FILM] Darts of Darkness Fairly daft impoverished gent is arrested for assassination of a popular R'n'B Darts Championship.	23.00 GS Aaagh! It's The Mr Hell Royal Darts Show Behind the scenes tour of his spectactular World Professional Darts Royal Palace.

1st January 2002
16.20 GS I Love The Year Highlights from the quick-fire comedy 12 months.	20.00 GS 1980s Best of Tales Tribute to the late lamented Cabbage Patch Dolls and rah-rah orphaned elephant.
20.30 GS Holby Murders Fever Docusoap charting the piano-playing ex-girlfriend whose peace is shattered by the karaoke stars.	0:45 Learning Zone : Basic Italian Revision 1:00 Pages from Ceefax 1:10 News (S) 2:00 Local Weather (T) 2:50 Pages from Ceefax 3:00 Sport : Fossil Biking from New York 3:10 Close 3:35 Pobol y Cwm (T) 3:45 Sport : Women's Outdoor Wheel Golf Championships

31st December 2001
17.20 MS Are You Out Of Africa? Entertaining fantasy tale of love in the bush with Meryl Slocombe's pussy. Starring hairdressers.	1:00 Ivor the Engine 1:50 Nightscreen (S) 2:00 Weather (S) 3:00 Pobol y Cwm 3:55 Pages from Ceefax (R) 4:00 Pages from Ceefax (S) 5:00 Local Weather (S) (T) 5:25 The Clangers 6:00 Pornography

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