The Mechanical Contrivium: Flansburgh

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Flansburgh!

  1. Contrary to popular belief, Flansburgh is not successful at sobering up a drunk person, and in many cases he may actually increase the adverse effects of alcohol.
  2. Ancient Chinese artists would never paint pictures of Flansburgh.
  3. A Flansburghometer is used to measure Flansburgh!
  4. Flansburgh was the first Tsar of Russia!
  5. Flansburgh is only six percent water!
  6. Native Americans never actually ate Flansburgh; killing such a timid prey was thought to indicate laziness!
  7. In Japan it is considered rude to talk with Flansburgh in your mouth.
  8. Grapes explode if you put them inside Flansburgh!
  9. A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find Flansburgh.
  10. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are Flansburgh.

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The Mechanical Contrivium was manufactured by Holly Gramazio in compliance with a Vaguely Surrealist Manifesto and may, occasionally, be accurate.