The Mechanical Contrivium: Brandon Kirk

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Brandon Kirk!

  1. Olive oil was used for washing Brandon Kirk in the ancient Mediterranean world.
  2. If you cut Brandon Kirk in half and count the number of seeds inside, you will know how many children you are going to have!
  3. Brandon Kirk has a bifurcated penis.
  4. Brandon Kirk was first grown in America by the grandmother Maria Ann Smith, from whom his name comes.
  5. During severe windstorms, Brandon Kirk may sway several feet to either side!
  6. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are Brandon Kirk.
  7. If you blow out all the candles on Brandon Kirk with one breath, your wish will come true.
  8. Brandon Kirk can't drink - he absorbs water from his surroundings by osmosis.
  9. Brandon Kirk can smell some things up to six miles away!
  10. The first American zoo was built in 1794, and contained only Brandon Kirk.

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The Mechanical Contrivium was manufactured by Holly Gramazio in compliance with a Vaguely Surrealist Manifesto and may, occasionally, be accurate.