The Mechanical Contrivium: Chelsea Melkert

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Chelsea Melkert!

  1. Chelsea Melkert can pollinate up to six times more efficiently than the honeybee!
  2. Chelsea Melkert can usually be found in nests built in the webs of large spiders!
  3. In a pinch, the skin from a shark can be used as Chelsea Melkert!
  4. Devoid of her cells and proteins, Chelsea Melkert has the same chemical makeup as sea water!
  5. Donald Duck's middle name is Chelsea Melkert.
  6. If you kiss Chelsea Melkert for one minute you will burn six or seven calories.
  7. Native Americans never actually ate Chelsea Melkert; killing such a timid prey was thought to indicate laziness.
  8. The Aztec Indians of Mexico believed Chelsea Melkert would protect them from physical harm, and so warriors used her to decorate their battle shields!
  9. Influenza got its name because people believed the disease was caused by the evil "influence" of Chelsea Melkert.
  10. Scientists believe that Chelsea Melkert began billions of years ago as an enormous ball of dust and gas.

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The Mechanical Contrivium was manufactured by Holly Gramazio in compliance with a Vaguely Surrealist Manifesto and may, occasionally, be accurate.