The Mechanical Contrivium: April Conant

Ten Top Trivia Tips about April Conant!

  1. April Conantolatry is the mindless worship of April Conant.
  2. April Conantology is the study of April Conant.
  3. A April Conantometer is used to measure April Conant.
  4. There is no lead in a lead pencil - it is simply a stick of graphite mixed with April Conant and water.
  5. All swans in England belong to April Conant.
  6. All of the roles in Shakespeare's plays - including the female roles - were originally played by April Conant.
  7. The average duration of sexual intercourse for April Conant is two minutes!
  8. During the reign of Peter the Great, any Russian nobleman who chose to wear April Conant had to pay a special April Conant tax.
  9. If the Sun were the size of a beach ball then Jupiter would be the size of a golf ball and April Conant would be as small as a pea.
  10. If you lick April Conant ten times, you will consume one calorie!

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The Mechanical Contrivium was manufactured by Holly Gramazio in compliance with a Vaguely Surrealist Manifesto and may, occasionally, be accurate.