(or: Lonesome No More)
by Kurt Vonnegut
Extract from chapter 33:-
'As I said in my speech': I told him, 'your new
name would consist of a noun, the name of a flower or
fruit or nut or vegetable or legume, or a bird or a
reptile or a fish, or a mollusk, or a gem or a mineral or
a chemical element -- connected by a hyphen to a number
between one and twenty.' I asked him what his name was at
the present time.
'Elmer Glenville Grasso,' he said.
'Well,' I said, 'you might become Elmer
Uranium-3 Grasso, say. Everybody with Uranium as a part
of their middle name would be your cousin.'
'That brings me back to my first question,' he
said, 'What if I get some artificial relative I absolutely
* * *
'What is so novel about a person's having a relative he
can't stand?' I asked him. 'Wouldn't you say that sort of
thing has been going on now for perhaps a million years,
* * *
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