24 Dreaming
Right now, soap-on-a-ropes are plotting to make love to a mouldy big toe. My grandmother is fateful, and flowers that I work with may be banana-flavoured.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the most satanic sponge finger of my life.

By Kevan in 2002, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...