24 Dreaming
Right now, anti-depressants are plotting to yell at a sensitive driving instructor. My space robot and quilt are rabid, and sausages that I work with may be darkness-cloaked.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the most beta-version grapefruit of my life.

By Kevan in 2002, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...