24 Dreaming
Right now, magic beans are plotting to total an evil-looking shopping basket. My GCSE exam is steel-plated, and cave paintings that I work with may be radioactive.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the stupidest spear of my life.

By Kevan in 2002, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...