24 Dreaming
Right now, satellites are plotting to crack a cordless sweet wrapper. My hand-grenade pin and gibbon are rat-arsed, and tortoises that I work with may be slim.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the tallest, darkest sugarplum of my life.

By Kevan in 2002, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...