24 Dreaming
Right now, snowflakes are plotting to pay good money for a Russian mineral deposit. My washing line and tea-strainer are hyperactive, and tumble dryers that I work with may be frigid and/or incoherent.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the most rudimentary clown of my life.

By Kevan in 2002, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...