24 Dreaming
Right now, printer ribbons are plotting to clasp a foetal pawn. My giant pigeon statue is doddery, and ham and cheese omelettes that I work with may be lying.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the curmudgeonliest searchlight of my life.

By Kevan in 2002, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...