24 Dreaming
Right now, seashells are plotting to misplace an arousing gun-rack. My flute and microwave are sore, and heliotropes that I work with may be poorly-manufactured.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the most teacup-related cyborg of my life.

By Kevan in 2002, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...