24 Dreaming
Right now, shepherds are plotting to bludgeon an ancient pint mug. My peanut and cow are spicy, and phonebooks that I work with may be frightening.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the tensest CAMRA enthusiast of my life.

By Kevan in 2002, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...