24 Dreaming
Right now, clones are plotting to strike a horrid freak. My crate is stinking, and planks that I work with may be horrible hairy.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the meanest sporran of my life.

By Kevan in 2002, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...