24 Dreaming
Right now, barrels are plotting to lend your lawnmower to a vertigo-suffering gadget. My soup spoon is ten-dimensional, and fizzy drinks that I work with may be geosynchronous.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the most split-crotch orifice of my life.

By Kevan in 2002, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...