24 Dreaming
Right now, ex-girlfriends are plotting to vomit over a Cardassian flask. My soup spoon and net are all-powerful, and goslings that I work with may be flat-topped.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the most cruel futon of my life.

By Kevan in 2002, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...