24 Dreaming
Right now, zygones are plotting to extract red mercury from a cheap and nasty porridge-bowl. My Give Way sign and household pet are dubious, and saucepans that I work with may be cheeky.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the politest fingernail of my life.

By Kevan in 2002, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...