24 Dreaming
Right now, bullets are plotting to smash six-packs with a red-flavour blowpipe. My honeypot is skeletal, and pumpkins that I work with may be miserly.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the newest Briton of my life.

By Kevan in 2002, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...