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Non-spliced humour? Try the Other Listings Magazine.

Concept:
Graham Sadler

Contributors:
Kevan Davis
Graham Sadler

Sources:
Guardian Guide
Guardian Unlimited
Radio Times
et al

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5th December 2001
20.00 GS Who Wants A Girl? Gameshow challenging contestants to answer 15 consecutive questions to win a 22-year-old female classical cellist.	21.30 GS Grime Zone Islamic scholars attempt to enlighten the Western media about the concept of contaminated poultry being sold to humans.
23.10 GS The History Of Artists And Torture How methods of punishment have been influenced by Leonardo da Vinci and Michelangelo.	23.45 GS [FILM] Animal Pastimes Al Pacino and Marlon Brando pose as prostitutes, hoping to attract a couple of Yorkshire Terriers.

4th December 2001
18.00 GS Cold Friends Pete buys Ross's wedding, while Rachel pushes Karen and Mark.	19.00 KD Animal Blood Horror Yorkshire terriers are brought in to be destined for petfood, to a rodent head at the Garden Show.
20.30 GS University Property Challenge St Hugh's, Oxford, take on Churchill, Cambridge to win their dream home.	21.00 KD House of Vikings Portrait of Italian Renaissance plumber who fails to fix a single bloody end to the Viking Age.
23.20 GS Real Life War Adventures A Manchester couple, armed with little more than spears and shields, find themselves stuck in the Second World War.	1:00 Pornography 2:00 Local Weather (T) 2:45 Open University : Advanced Socks Theory (T) 3:00 Pobol y Cwm (T) 3:50 News (R) (T) 4:00 Close 4:30 Sport : Topless Deathmatch Bamboo Jumping from Brazil 5:00 Ivor the Engine

3rd December 2001
08.00 KD GMTV War Lorraine Kelly suggests a sackful of ideas for surviving horrors of the protracted siege at Eshowe, which lasted 25 years previously. Supernatural horror, starring Ross Blofeld in Dictionary Corner.	13.00 KD Gangland Games Steve Le Fevre presents the death of an escort girl, and Amanda prepares to give drugs.
22.00 GS [FILM] In The Bleak Romance Comedy, starring Michael Keaton and Geena Davis as speechwriters who meet by chance and immediately sell some stolen cocaine.	0:15 Close (S) 1:00 Pages from Ceefax 1:25 Pobol y Cwm (S) 2:00 Pages from Ceefax 3:00 News (S) 4:00 Pages from Ceefax (T) 5:00 The Clangers (R) (S) 6:00 Sport : Air Shooting (S)

2nd December 2001
18.10 GS Bodies Roadshow The team visit Carlisle, and unearth 19th Century South Yorkshire railway workers and their families.	19.00 KD Football Bear Desmond Lynam presents ITV's escaped circus bear, while Lupo lands himself in hot vegetarian recipes.
22.15 GS Big Question Investigation into the CIA's involvement in the war against terrorism, asking if it can complete its task without disco diva Sophie Ellis-Bextor.	0:35 Pobol y Cwm (S) 0:40 Sport : Underwater World-Cup Deathmatch Poetry Riding from Switzerland 1:00 Pages from Ceefax (T) 1:35 Learning Zone : Tyres Revision (S) (T) 2:00 Sport : Car Jumping Championships Live from Azerbaijan 2:05 Pages from Ceefax

1st December 2001
19.10 GS School Date Cilla plays Cupid to more bright young things searching for fun and GCSE English papers.	22.15 GS [FILM] Kill Night Part II A fugitive from the law finds romance while being murdered and is drawn into a sordid world of loneliness and frustration.
23.10 GS Dark Graham Norton Glamorous guests, outrageous revelations and the spirit of a man who had been murdered on the chat show.	1:00 Local Weather (T) 1:45 Pages from Ceefax 2:00 Sport : Zombie Lifting (R) 2:45 Close (T) 3:00 Pobol y Cwm 4:00 Open University : Advanced Text Messages Workshop 4:05 Ivor the Engine 5:00 Weather (S) 6:00 Work Essentials : Spanish (T)

30th November 2001
14.00 GS [FILM] Damned Rooster John Wayne reprises his role as the tough maverick dentist struggling to make a Dutch trading post on the USS Yorktown.	16.05 GS The Battle Game A team of brave estate agents continue to fight over an area of ocean 4,880m deep.
17.15 GS Real Wizards: Russell Grant The astrologer is stunned to be accused of selling ancient cauldrons and medieval recipes.	18.00 GS Gimme Gimme Rally Marie Melmotte's plans to elope are scuppered when she is forced to confront the unpredictability of the Rally of Great Britain.
23.30 GS [FILM] The Big Miracle A racing driver is snatched a split second before 15 years of marriage.	0:30 Sport : Bare-Knuckle Octopus Skiing Championships (S) (T) 1:00 Ivor the Engine (S) (T) 1:10 Pages from Ceefax (S) 2:00 Local News (T) 2:05 The Clangers 3:00 Learning Zone : Basic Text Messages (S) (T) 3:15 Work Essentials : Fire (R) (S) (T)

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