TV Misguidance

RANSOM-NOTE
TELEVISION
LISTINGS

Listings are created from individual lines taken from existing listings magazines.

Non-spliced humour? Try the Other Listings Magazine.

Concept:
Graham Sadler

Contributors:
Graham Sadler

Sources:
Guardian Guide
Guardian Unlimited
Radio Times
et al

(To join in, just submit a programme. But make sure you know what this site's about, first.)

       

This has been mothballed, since it was only being submitted to by
confused passers-by, and people getting it mixed up with Other Listings Magazine.

24th June 2002
23.49
X
Closedown Another person blindly mistakes TV Misguidance for a general comedy listings thing, rather than taking five seconds to read the sidebar.
1:00 Weather 2:00 Ivor the Engine (T) 3:00 Pages from Ceefax (T) 3:10 Local Weather (R) (T) 4:00 Ivor the Engine (T) 4:15 Pages from Ceefax 5:00 Pages from Ceefax 6:00 Ivor the Engine

22nd June 2002
11.15
JF
Hurled Cup Highlights Highlights of Spain blowing chunks all over the pitch as they get sickened by watching the replay of the goal that DID go in.
13.30
JF
Labourers Yet more roadworks in Ramsay Street.
18.00
JF
Trading Plaices A rich wall street trader and a homeless tramp get up to all sorts of zany antics when their orders get mixed up down the local chippy.
18.00
JF
[FILM] Trading Plaices A rich wall street trader and a homeless tramp get up to all sorts of zany antics when their orders get mixed up down the local chippy.
20.00
JF
Ali G String Footage from Mohammed Ali's even stranger days when he boxed naked wearing nothing but a small piece of women's underwear on his head.
21.30
JF
Who wants to win a bag of hair? Quiz show hosted by Chris De Burgh in which contestants battle it out to winb a grand prize of a small bag of Chris's eyebrow hair.
22.30
JF
Pig Brother Porky gets totally freaked when he finds out that the sausages in the house aren't vegetarian.
1:00 The Clangers 2:00 Pages from Ceefax (S) 3:00 Sport : Nude Telescope Cricket (T) 3:25 Learning Zone : Basic Bamboo Revision 4:00 Open University : Advanced Management 4:10 Close 5:00 The Clangers (S) 6:00 Learning Zone : GCSE Rugby Theory

21st June 2002
07.30
FT
Jackass Tweenies Milo invents a game which involves going up and down the slopes with a Portaloo and a pair of snowboards.
07.30
FT
World Cup Jumper England v Brazil. Full coverage of today's cheeky little boy in the stripy jumper.
09.00
FT
This Morning Sally Meen spruces up a Leicester couple's eagerly anticipated fixture. Sven-Goran Eriksson's men investigate things that make popping noises.
1:00 Ivor the Engine (R) 2:00 Sport : Long-Distance Needle Tennis from Luton 3:00 Sport : Bare-Knuckle Scooter Fighting Finals (T) 3:20 The Clangers (S) (T) 4:00 Learning Zone : Babies 4:50 Pages from Ceefax (S) 5:00 Nightscreen (S)

17th May 2002
22.00
FT
Tweenies of Death Sci-fi drama series. In order to prevent the mass suicide of a garden, Milo ends up with very muddy hands. He then accidentally attempts to bring about the deaths of all those who have sex while fully clothed.
0:20 Weather (R) 1:00 News (S) 1:45 Pornography 2:00 Pobol y Cwm 2:35 Work Essentials : Politics 3:00 Work Essentials : Traffic Cones (S) 4:00 Local News 4:40 Local News 5:00 Pornography 6:00 Sport : Topless Beggar Cricket

30th April 2002
13.00
GS
Homicide Fever Suggs introduces karaoke carjacking and killing.
17.00
GS
[FILM] Teenage Mutant World Championship Snooker Turtles The sewer-dwelling superheroes crack down on Dennis Taylor, John Virgo and Willie Thorne.
18.00
GS
The X Roadshow The team visit Houghton Hall in Norfolk, where Michael Aspel can apparently locate his victims through walls.
1:00 Pages from Ceefax (S) (T) 1:55 Ivor the Engine (T) 2:00 Ivor the Engine (T) 2:05 Sport : Terrorist Skiing (R) (T) 2:25 Pages from Ceefax 3:00 Local News 3:55 Ivor the Engine 4:00 Sport : Algebra Jumping from Azerbaijan (S) (T)

26th April 2002
20.00
GS
Later With Jets A diverse mix of music from artists capable of taking off and landing vertically.
21.00
GS
[FILM] Uncovered Love Room Comedy about a widower and his son who attempt to find babies in restaurants, bad time-keeping stag beetles and an albino hedgehog.
23.30
GS
Bombay Law A look at how Indian police forces are giving a crook the opportunity to carry out an audacious robbery.
0:35 Pages from Ceefax (R) (S) 1:00 Pobol y Cwm 2:00 Pobol y Cwm 2:50 Pobol y Cwm (S) 2:55 The Clangers 3:00 Pages from Ceefax (T) 3:25 Close 4:00 Pornography 5:00 Work Essentials : Marijuana

20th April 2002
20.00
GS
[FILM] Two Tickets To Full Omega Massage The wealthy owner of an upmarket garden shed has her horizons broadened by a singing group of mutant zombies.
21.00
GS
The Survivor Mind Game The castaways face a recurring nightmare which preys on endurance and willpower.

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