TV Misguidance

RANSOM-NOTE
TELEVISION
LISTINGS

Listings are created from individual lines taken from existing listings magazines.

Non-spliced humour? Try the Other Listings Magazine.

Concept:
Graham Sadler

Contributors:
Kevan Davis
Graham Sadler

Sources:
Guardian Guide
Guardian Unlimited
Radio Times
et al

(To join in, just submit a programme. But make sure you know what this site's about, first.)

       

This has been mothballed, since it was only being submitted to by
confused passers-by, and people getting it mixed up with Other Listings Magazine.

27th March 2002
09.00
GS
Celtic Attachments Drama series about an internet start-up company made of wooden posts some 5m long. Brandon decides that there may be a professional rat in the drainage system.
10.00
GS
Happy Chipmunks Pre-school series combining live action and cheeky singing chipmunks. Smiler and Scarlet visit a mysterious tribe of sheep on a farm within the mountain.
13.00
GS
Teachers of Desire A frank and fascinating four-part series which attempts a fully integrated analysis of human sexual twentysomething teachers. This first programme explores the evolution of sex in the school.
18.30
GS
Family News Jim reaches a difficult decision and Pete is pleased with Kirsty Young.
19.00
GS
Tomorrow's Rockface The latest stories in science, medicine and technology from around a Scottish mountain rescue service. This edition features a pedal car that speeds up two 12-year-old boys in a dramatic river rescue.
1:00 Open University : Basic Crows (R) 1:10 Close (S) 1:40 The Clangers 1:55 Local News (T) 2:00 Close 3:00 Pages from Ceefax (T) 3:40 Learning Zone : GCSE Arses Theory (T) 4:00 Pages from Ceefax (S) (T)

23rd March 2002
12.00
GS
Sporting Sport Sporting action from sporting events.
13.00
GS
Jackie Stewart World Stewart sets up his own Formula One racing team with the help of former sports minister Kate Hoey, racing pundit John McCririck and betting guru Derek McGovern.
17.00
GS
Late-Night Countdown Richard Whiteley and Carol Vorderman must hunt fugitives from Hell or be condemned to eternal damnation.
18.00
GS
Baddiel and Skinner Nightmares in Their Eyes Frank Skinner and David Baddiel are back - live, unscripted, embarrassing, frightening and amateur singers.
19.00
GS
Strange Trex The legend of 'Inkanyamba', a giant snake believed by the Zulus to travel and work in different countries around the world.
20.00
GS
Murder in Casualty When a barrister is threatened with blackmail by a prostitute, he decides to murder Dr Simon Kaminski, who is bursting with energy and charm.
21.00
GS
On Screen Kitchen Chef Gordon Ramsay learns how to make dinner affect the environment.
22.00
GS
[FILM] Britart Son A 12-year-old boy haunted by a secret has become a stranger in one of the hottest centres for contemporary art anywhere in the world.
23.00
GS
Back to Number One Documentary which follows two children sent from the UK to the top of the chart.
1:00 Local Weather (R) 2:00 Pages from Ceefax (S) (T) 2:30 Pages from Ceefax (T) 3:00 Close 4:00 News (S) (T) 5:00 Local News (S) (T) 5:05 Local Weather 5:10 Pages from Ceefax (S) (T) 5:15 Pobol y Cwm (S) (T)

21st March 2002
11.00
GS
Big Strong Kilroy Robert Kilroy-Silk discusses lots of ideas but little DIY expertise makes him question both his personal and professional life.
12.10
GS
Your Business Landmarks More cartoon adventures with the little blue Viking longships and Victorian steam trains with solutions to economic and environmental business meals.
13.10
GS
[FILM] Wild Trouble in Your Area Romantic adventure about a wildcat goats and Shetland ponies who can clock the digital mileometer of any car in minutes using a laptop computer.
20.30
GS
[FILM] Weird Hospital Bluff Oscar-winning drama about a duel of words and wit between dinosaur-esque lizards and Mexican jumping beans at one of Britain's busiest hospital complexes.

20th March 2002
19.00
KD
This Is Your Death Michael Aspel unleashes disease.
19.30
KD
Tomorrow's Bad World A scanner that can detect Paris.
21.00
KD
[FILM] Empire of the Empire Drama about a young boy growing up in a Japanese prisoner movie theme park at Disneyland Heaven.
1:00 Nightscreen 1:45 Pobol y Cwm (S) (T) 2:00 Sport : Amateur Outdoor World-Cup Mobile Phone Racing 3:00 Open University : Tadpoles (T) 3:30 The Clangers (S) (T) 3:50 Pages from Ceefax (S) (T) 4:00 The Clangers (S)

19th March 2002
09.00
KD
This Cube Morning Sixties pop idols The Monkees drop into the deadly traps, and face the fight of their lives to regain their audience, as Trisha Goddard presides
20.00
GS
English For Dinner Series in which well-known chefs look at the essentials of English grammar using songs, sketches and the inhabitants of the Irish village of Fethard-on-Sea.
21.00
GS
[FILM] Happy Antics Macho thriller in which the American government discovers that it is a lovely sunny afternoon outside in the garden.
22.30
KD
Smurfs' Booze Jeremy Bowen's study of the effects of alcohol on youngsters whose aim is to have as much fun as little blue folk.

17th March 2002
18.00
GS
Moscow We Have Skiing Nick Fellows presents action from the ski and snowboard event in the troubled Russian space station, Mir.
21.30
GS
[FILM] The Full Titanic Blockbuster comedy about a group of unemployed Sheffield steelworkers who lay undisturbed in the icy waters of the North Atlantic for 73 years.
23.55
GS
[FILM] In The Heat Of The Antiques God Oscar-winning thriller about the bigoted sheriff who invites members of the public to bring along their antiques and computer images of 1st-century Palestine to a book signing in the British countryside.
0:35 Learning Zone : A-Level Pencils 1:00 Sport : Amateur Snail Wrestling 1:05 Pages from Ceefax (S) 2:00 Work Essentials : Unicycles 2:40 News (R) (S) 3:00 Sport : Hexagon Boxing (T) 3:05 The Clangers 3:45 Work Essentials : Sheep (S)

16th March 2002
15.25
GS
Secrets of Street Bean Magicians A masked magician reveals how street performers create tricks and illusions without the use of elaborate hapless bumbler Mr Bean.
17.35
GS
You've Been Closet Lisa Riley presents more home video relationship changes, but not necessarily for the better.
18.00
GS
Code Name: Gifted Three-part documentary which follows the nurturing of 12-year-old child prodigy Julian Bliss, who is an intergalactic assassin.
19.00
GS
Secrets of the Trap Door The animated escapades of loveable monsters that could have been the inspiration for the biblical story of Noah.

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