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Non-spliced humour? Try the Other Listings Magazine.

Concept:
Graham Sadler

Contributors:
Kevan Davis
Graham Sadler

Sources:
Guardian Guide
Guardian Unlimited
Radio Times
et al

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3rd April 2002
19.00 GS Tomorrow's Great Modern Art World Michael Robinson investigates claims that famous auction houses Christie's and Sotheby's conspired to rig the astonishing impact of fantasy and reality.	20.00 GS The Ice Chef Benedict Allen finds himself freezing in the middle of a Siberian storm but it doesn't stop him cooking a hearty snack of hot beef.
21.00 GS Shops, Robbers and Architects Profile of Sir James Stirling, famed for his outrageous use of CCTV surveillance cameras on the streets of Leeds.	0:45 Pages from Ceefax (T) 1:00 Sport : Underwater Bare-Knuckle French Lifting Finals (R) 2:00 The Clangers 3:00 Local Weather 4:00 The Clangers 5:00 Learning Zone : A-Level Rivers Theory (S) 5:35 Local News 6:00 Work Essentials : Telescopes (S)

30th March 2002
10.00 GS Kitchen Secrets Professor John Guy investigates the invention of the printed Mediterranean diet, rich in olive oil and wine.	13.00 GS Final Racing Boat Focus The BUPA Caledonian 10km Thames Sculling Nationwide League and three races in action at the 148th University Boat Scottish leagues from Haydock. Featuring full analysis of the world five-mile race between Oxford and Manchester United.
14.55 GS The World's Scariest Police Football A round-up of the best football action from cameras in police cars and helicopters.	0:40 Learning Zone : A-Level Spaghetti Revision 0:45 Local News (S) 1:00 Local News 1:25 Pages from Ceefax (S) 2:00 Open University : Advanced Tadpoles (S) 2:40 Weather 2:55 Pornography (T) 3:00 Ivor the Engine

29th March 2002
19.00 GS Gardeners' Techno Trench Alan Titchmarsh sows seeds in a First World War trench designed by amateur engineers.	19.30 GS Books from the Unreported Grave Sitcom about a bad-tempered, eccentric bookshop owner and his skeleton of an Iron Age woman who talk candidly about how they got into a life of crime.
23.50 GS [FILM] Savage Jerusalem Piranha Tongue-in-cheek `Jaws' spoof in which shoals of specially bred killer fish tell tales of record-breaking winds and the very first Easter week.	0:25 Sport : World-Cup Cat Chasing Finals (T) 1:00 Close (S) 2:00 Pobol y Cwm (T) 2:45 Local Weather (R) (S) 3:00 News (T) 3:15 The Clangers (T) 4:00 Pornography (S) 4:20 Work Essentials : Walls 5:00 Pobol y Cwm

27th March 2002
09.00 GS Celtic Attachments Drama series about an internet start-up company made of wooden posts some 5m long. Brandon decides that there may be a professional rat in the drainage system.	10.00 GS Happy Chipmunks Pre-school series combining live action and cheeky singing chipmunks. Smiler and Scarlet visit a mysterious tribe of sheep on a farm within the mountain.
13.00 GS Teachers of Desire A frank and fascinating four-part series which attempts a fully integrated analysis of human sexual twentysomething teachers. This first programme explores the evolution of sex in the school.	18.30 GS Family News Jim reaches a difficult decision and Pete is pleased with Kirsty Young.
19.00 GS Tomorrow's Rockface The latest stories in science, medicine and technology from around a Scottish mountain rescue service. This edition features a pedal car that speeds up two 12-year-old boys in a dramatic river rescue.	1:00 Open University : Basic Crows (R) 1:10 Close (S) 1:40 The Clangers 1:55 Local News (T) 2:00 Close 3:00 Pages from Ceefax (T) 3:40 Learning Zone : GCSE Arses Theory (T) 4:00 Pages from Ceefax (S) (T)

23rd March 2002
12.00 GS Sporting Sport Sporting action from sporting events.	13.00 GS Jackie Stewart World Stewart sets up his own Formula One racing team with the help of former sports minister Kate Hoey, racing pundit John McCririck and betting guru Derek McGovern.
17.00 GS Late-Night Countdown Richard Whiteley and Carol Vorderman must hunt fugitives from Hell or be condemned to eternal damnation.	18.00 GS Baddiel and Skinner Nightmares in Their Eyes Frank Skinner and David Baddiel are back - live, unscripted, embarrassing, frightening and amateur singers.
19.00 GS Strange Trex The legend of 'Inkanyamba', a giant snake believed by the Zulus to travel and work in different countries around the world.	20.00 GS Murder in Casualty When a barrister is threatened with blackmail by a prostitute, he decides to murder Dr Simon Kaminski, who is bursting with energy and charm.
21.00 GS On Screen Kitchen Chef Gordon Ramsay learns how to make dinner affect the environment.	22.00 GS [FILM] Britart Son A 12-year-old boy haunted by a secret has become a stranger in one of the hottest centres for contemporary art anywhere in the world.
23.00 GS Back to Number One Documentary which follows two children sent from the UK to the top of the chart.	1:00 Local Weather (R) 2:00 Pages from Ceefax (S) (T) 2:30 Pages from Ceefax (T) 3:00 Close 4:00 News (S) (T) 5:00 Local News (S) (T) 5:05 Local Weather 5:10 Pages from Ceefax (S) (T) 5:15 Pobol y Cwm (S) (T)

21st March 2002
11.00 GS Big Strong Kilroy Robert Kilroy-Silk discusses lots of ideas but little DIY expertise makes him question both his personal and professional life.	12.10 GS Your Business Landmarks More cartoon adventures with the little blue Viking longships and Victorian steam trains with solutions to economic and environmental business meals.
13.10 GS [FILM] Wild Trouble in Your Area Romantic adventure about a wildcat goats and Shetland ponies who can clock the digital mileometer of any car in minutes using a laptop computer.	20.30 GS [FILM] Weird Hospital Bluff Oscar-winning drama about a duel of words and wit between dinosaur-esque lizards and Mexican jumping beans at one of Britain's busiest hospital complexes.

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