TV Misguidance

RANSOM-NOTE
TELEVISION
LISTINGS

Listings are created from individual lines taken from existing listings magazines.

Non-spliced humour? Try the Other Listings Magazine.

Concept:
Graham Sadler

Contributors:
Kevan Davis
Graham Sadler

Sources:
Guardian Guide
Guardian Unlimited
Radio Times
et al

(To join in, just submit a programme. But make sure you know what this site's about, first.)

       

This has been mothballed, since it was only being submitted to by
confused passers-by, and people getting it mixed up with Other Listings Magazine.

19th April 2002
20.30
GS
Book Nature An American sets up a book group in the animal kingdom between the frog and the tarantula.
21.00
GS
[FILM] The Jackass Witches Three women use the devil to bring male company into their body hair with wax.

14th April 2002
10.55
GS
Wildlife Scene Investigation The team discover a businessman who died focusing on the territorial call of the nightingale.
16.30
GS
Experiments of Impact Actor, comedian and science buff Ken Campbell recreates crashes, road-rage and cases of drink driving.
19.00
GS
[FILM] The Dark Morning A fading, alcoholic actress wakes up in bed beside a murdered man and offers him seven wishes in exchange for his soul.
1:00 Local News (S) (T) 1:35 Pages from Ceefax (T) 2:00 Pages from Ceefax (R) (S) (T) 3:00 Local News (S) (T) 3:55 Close 4:00 Pobol y Cwm (T) 4:05 Open University : Advanced Zombies (T) 4:35 The Clangers (T)

11th April 2002
19.30
GS
Family Street Siobhan is rushed from the contents of a scrapyard, while Dan confronts his wardrobe of Savile Row suits.
20.00
GS
What The Victorians Did For Naomi Historian Adam Hart-Davis investigates the late 19th Century obsession with Naomi Campbell, whose antics away from the catwalk have been raised to unbearable levels.
20.30
GS
[FILM] Weird Speed A psychopath plants a bomb on a bus which lures moths with a tantalising scent if its speed drops below 50mph.
21.00
GS
[FILM] Benefit of the Junkyard An ex-convict preys on his daughter's memories of her attempt to create trucks from the contents of a scrapyard.
22.30
GS
Billy Connolly's Wasted Tour of England The comedian's tour brings him to London where he clings to the bottom rung of the social ladder and becomes increasingly entangled in the world of heroin.
0:35 Pages from Ceefax 1:00 Close (R) 2:00 Local News 3:00 Pages from Ceefax 4:00 Nightscreen (T) 4:20 News 4:40 Work Essentials : Swords (S) (T) 5:00 Pages from Ceefax 6:00 Pobol y Cwm

7th April 2002
19.30
KD
Terrorist Bloomers The man who flew the first plane into Terry Wogan.
20.00
GS
The X Force A mother is distraught when her son vanishes without trace - but ten years later he makes a reappearance complete with sandpit, greenhouse and a bird bath.
21.00
GS
[FILM] Jacob's Decades A Vietnam veteran suffers a series of terrifying visions in which he is plagued by grotesque demon-like literary trends from the Fifties to the Eighties.
23.00
GS
Britain's Richest Terrorist People The country's wealthiest terrorist group threatening to release a deadly virus.

3rd April 2002
19.00
GS
Tomorrow's Great Modern Art World Michael Robinson investigates claims that famous auction houses Christie's and Sotheby's conspired to rig the astonishing impact of fantasy and reality.
20.00
GS
The Ice Chef Benedict Allen finds himself freezing in the middle of a Siberian storm but it doesn't stop him cooking a hearty snack of hot beef.
21.00
GS
Shops, Robbers and Architects Profile of Sir James Stirling, famed for his outrageous use of CCTV surveillance cameras on the streets of Leeds.
0:45 Pages from Ceefax (T) 1:00 Sport : Underwater Bare-Knuckle French Lifting Finals (R) 2:00 The Clangers 3:00 Local Weather 4:00 The Clangers 5:00 Learning Zone : A-Level Rivers Theory (S) 5:35 Local News 6:00 Work Essentials : Telescopes (S)

30th March 2002
10.00
GS
Kitchen Secrets Professor John Guy investigates the invention of the printed Mediterranean diet, rich in olive oil and wine.
13.00
GS
Final Racing Boat Focus The BUPA Caledonian 10km Thames Sculling Nationwide League and three races in action at the 148th University Boat Scottish leagues from Haydock. Featuring full analysis of the world five-mile race between Oxford and Manchester United.
14.55
GS
The World's Scariest Police Football A round-up of the best football action from cameras in police cars and helicopters.
0:40 Learning Zone : A-Level Spaghetti Revision 0:45 Local News (S) 1:00 Local News 1:25 Pages from Ceefax (S) 2:00 Open University : Advanced Tadpoles (S) 2:40 Weather 2:55 Pornography (T) 3:00 Ivor the Engine

29th March 2002
19.00
GS
Gardeners' Techno Trench Alan Titchmarsh sows seeds in a First World War trench designed by amateur engineers.
19.30
GS
Books from the Unreported Grave Sitcom about a bad-tempered, eccentric bookshop owner and his skeleton of an Iron Age woman who talk candidly about how they got into a life of crime.
23.50
GS
[FILM] Savage Jerusalem Piranha Tongue-in-cheek `Jaws' spoof in which shoals of specially bred killer fish tell tales of record-breaking winds and the very first Easter week.
0:25 Sport : World-Cup Cat Chasing Finals (T) 1:00 Close (S) 2:00 Pobol y Cwm (T) 2:45 Local Weather (R) (S) 3:00 News (T) 3:15 The Clangers (T) 4:00 Pornography (S) 4:20 Work Essentials : Walls 5:00 Pobol y Cwm

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