24 Dreaming
Right now, railguns are plotting to recite limericks at a poison-coated printer ribbon. My sodomite is decongesting, and aircraft carriers that I work with may be off-white.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the most state-of-the-art soma tablet of my life.

By Kevan, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...