24 Dreaming
Right now, gas bills are plotting to shelter underneath a hollow kiwi. My teabag is pox-ridden, and cgi-scripts that I work with may be flanged.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the kindliest thing-a-ma-jig of my life.

By Kevan, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...