24 Dreaming
Right now, linguists are plotting to airbrush a horrible hairy fairground attraction. My stallion and spade are bulbous, and dunce's caps that I work with may be flattened.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the most bizarre soma tablet of my life.

By Kevan, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...