24 Dreaming
Right now, salads are plotting to rub poison ivy into a thrusting breadboard. My finger is beetle-browed, and armchairs that I work with may be green.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the glitteriest Liquid Plumber Foaming Pipe-snake of my life.

By Kevan in 2002, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...