24 Dreaming
Right now, poodles are plotting to meddle with a pathetic and snivelling microwave. My bouncy castle and collar are sweaty, and gumdrops that I work with may be silly knees-bent running-about.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the most bevelled Smartie of my life.

By Kevan in 2002, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...