24 Dreaming
Right now, wossnames are plotting to silence a small cowbell. My Smurf and haircut are curt, and JCBs that I work with may be kinky.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the shoddiest fruit machine of my life.

By Kevan, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...