24 Dreaming
Right now, banana skins are plotting to shop a gagged-and-bound snooker cue. My android and Space Ghost Decoder Ring are targetted, and particle accelerators that I work with may be hydrophobic.

I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the most stranded vampire of my life.

By Kevan in 2002, also to blame for the Surrealist Link
For greater coherence, try 24ever
Previously on 24...